1. It takes a special kind of person to major in Russian. And by special I mean weird.
If you haven’t noticed, being weird seems to be a prerequisite.
2. There’s a certain look people give you when you tell them you’re majoring in/speak Russian.
3. Which then follows with this question:
“Woooow. So what do you plan on doing with that?”
4. Your usual response:
I mean, really, at this point your guess is as good as mine.
5. And on the inside, you’re secretly thinking:
Because we all know that the government jobs are on a halt, trying to go to grad school and become a professor is almost futile because that field is overcrowded, you don’t really want to teach Russian on a high school level, and you can’t go to Russia and teach English there because they hardly pay enough to cover your rent, let alone your student loan payments. So, that doesn’t leave many options.
9. Or when they think Leningrad and St. Petersburg are two different cities.
10. Or when they think Moscow and St. Petersburg are right next to each other.
12. When you’re obsessed with watching “The Americans”.
And you’re counting down the days to season two.
13. When other people call blini pancakes.
And they’re not crepes either. They’re blini.
16. When this needs no further explanation.
17. And neither does this one.
19. If you’ve been to a dacha, you just want to go back.
(And if you haven’t been to one yet, you’re jealous of your friends that have.)
21. You’re pretty close to the kids in your department, and the professors are like parents.
22. And when you hear a freshman say “ochen’ da” (translation: “very yes”).
You fix that, and you fix it right away. More like, ochen’ nyet.