1. At orientation, you’ll probably be mistaken for a parent at least once.
I don’t need a box of ramen, thanks.
2. When classes begin, other students will mistake you for either a professor or an administrator. More than once.
3. One or more of your professors will think you are a graduate student and think you should know more than you do. They will also always look directly at you when speaking of events that occured before 1993.
Say it. SAY IT!
4. It’s at this point in the semester you need to cultivate your personal style and show them who you really are.
Is this the way to the student center?
5. And that despite your fabulousness, you may have to accept the fact that you’re just too old to make the team.
6. Remember that pajamas and Starbucks are necessities for morning classes.
7. Regular attendance is NOT mandatory in many classes in order to pass. Bueller? BUELLER?
8. There are virtual blackboards now, and something called “The Internet” where you can do research.
The library is so 1995.
9. You find yourself saying to classmates young enough to be your kids “Well, back when I was in school..” and sounding like one of your parents.
10. And then they laugh and laugh…
Not with you, at you.
11. No one lugs around textbooks anymore. They’re mostly all digital.
Nice backpack bro.
12. And no one takes notes like this anymore, you old fart.
Man haven’t you heard of the Apple Store?
14. But unlike the first time you went to college, you never have to worry about getting caught with a fake I.D.!
Drink up whippersnappers.