1.
The ability to enjoy a loud, crowded party without chugging a billion drinks.
2.
The ability to Control+F or Control+Y in real life:
3.
The ability to promptly open mail without erupting in a Vesuvius of rage-vomiting.
4.
The ability to arrive on time for goddang once.
5.
The ability to eat better than this:
6.
The ability to think of a witty comeback to every insult and backhanded comment.
7.
The ability to carry the feeling of motivation across to the next day.
8.
The ability to not hit "refresh" on Twitter/Tumblr/Facebook over and over and over.
9.
ALL OF THESE ABILITIES:
10.
The ability to borrow self-esteem from your future self.
