2. The Eiffel Tower and Golden Gate Bridge were built entirely from the bones of haters.
3. A group of haters is called a murder of haters. A half dozen haters is called a graduate choir of haters.
4. 42% of Americans believe that haters are the greatest threat to national security.
5. Haterade has -60 calories. Haterade is the official sponsor of the Sochi Olympics.
6. Every full moon, Willow Smith morphs into a huntress of haters . She is the most decorated hater-hunter in the United States.
7. Peel open the spinal carapace on a hater’s back, and you’ll find a middle school yearbook signed with “Have A Great Summer!”
8. Haters have the best manicures. The easiest way to make a hater go away is to tell them that they are both loved and correct.
9. Sometimes haters say incredibly valuable things. Wipe away the hater-slime from the hater-jewels. Buy chewing gum with them. Buy flowers for your family.
10. Death is the ultimate hater.
Originally featured on Blunderbuss Magazine.