3. Sometimes you drown in them.
6. Sometimes they fall out of your goddamn cupboard.
7. Sometimes they come crashing from the goddamn sky.
8. Sometimes they barrel down the sidewalk and crash behind your knees.
9. Or maybe they swallow you up.
11. FEELS may have shifted in the overhead compartment during the flight.
12. Take a FEELS football in your FEELS thorax.
13. Don’t ever hold them.
15. Don’t ever enter a FEELS arena.
16. Be careful when you’re buying a FEELS hot dog at a FEELS hot dog stand!
17. FEELS: one of America’s leading natural disasters. 313 million people suffer from them every year.
Here Are Today's Top Stories
- Thai police arrested a man alleged to have explosives in his possession, almost two weeks after a deadly bomb blast in Bangkok killed 20 people. ›
- A Harris County, Texas, sheriff's deputy was ambushed Friday night when a man walked up and repeatedly shot him from behind. ›
- Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said that Tropical Storm Erika killed 20 people there, and set the island back 20 years from the damage. ›