3. Sometimes you drown in them.
6. Sometimes they fall out of your goddamn cupboard.
7. Sometimes they come crashing from the goddamn sky.
8. Sometimes they barrel down the sidewalk and crash behind your knees.
9. Or maybe they swallow you up.
11. FEELS may have shifted in the overhead compartment during the flight.
12. Take a FEELS football in your FEELS thorax.
13. Don’t ever hold them.
15. Don’t ever enter a FEELS arena.
16. Be careful when you’re buying a FEELS hot dog at a FEELS hot dog stand!
17. FEELS: one of America’s leading natural disasters. 313 million people suffer from them every year.
- Turkey's military released an audio recording of what it says were warnings to the Russian warplane before it was downed near Syria's border. ›
- Protesters marched in Chicago for the second night in a row after the release of a video showing the police shooting of black teen Laquan McDonald. ›
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›