3. Sometimes you drown in them.
6. Sometimes they fall out of your goddamn cupboard.
7. Sometimes they come crashing from the goddamn sky.
8. Sometimes they barrel down the sidewalk and crash behind your knees.
9. Or maybe they swallow you up.
11. FEELS may have shifted in the overhead compartment during the flight.
12. Take a FEELS football in your FEELS thorax.
13. Don’t ever hold them.
15. Don’t ever enter a FEELS arena.
16. Be careful when you’re buying a FEELS hot dog at a FEELS hot dog stand!
17. FEELS: one of America’s leading natural disasters. 313 million people suffer from them every year.
In The News Today
- Doctors Without Borders is demanding an independent fact-finding mission into the deadly U.S. bombing on its Afghan hospital. ›
- The European Union is now using naval vessels in the Mediterranean to intercept boats that are smuggling refugees and migrants to Europe. ›
- Tomas Lindahl, Paul Modrich, and Aziz Sancar have won the Nobel Prize in chemistry for figuring out how cells repair DNA. ›