3. Sometimes you drown in them.
6. Sometimes they fall out of your goddamn cupboard.
7. Sometimes they come crashing from the goddamn sky.
8. Sometimes they barrel down the sidewalk and crash behind your knees.
9. Or maybe they swallow you up.
11. FEELS may have shifted in the overhead compartment during the flight.
12. Take a FEELS football in your FEELS thorax.
13. Don’t ever hold them.
15. Don’t ever enter a FEELS arena.
16. Be careful when you’re buying a FEELS hot dog at a FEELS hot dog stand!
17. FEELS: one of America’s leading natural disasters. 313 million people suffer from them every year.
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