1.
Instead of returning the baby penguin to its mom, you did this:
2.
Instead of liberating the "Goldeneye" scientists, you did this:
3.
Instead of saving Cassandra in "Perfect Dark," you planted mines on her.
5.
When Peppy asked you to do a barrel roll, you shot him instead.
6.
And when it came time to pick a name in Zelda:
7.
You destroyed everyone's chickens in Dre's name.
9.
When no one was looking in "Mario Kart 64," you jumped fences.
10.
Instead of racing, you littered the finish line.
11.
Nothing in "Wayne Gretzky 64" interested you except bodychecking your friends.
12.
You cheated to get Mew and had the gall to trot him out on "Pokemon Stadium."
13.
You did this unchill thing for five minutes straight on "Smash Bros. 64."
14.
You falcon-punched Chansey in Saffron City. You falcon-punched nearly everything. You falcon-punched while shrieking "falcon punch!!!"