1. If You’re Female, When You Inevitably Get Hit On, Laugh Likes You Have No Idea What’s Going On
Marriage??? Hahahahah. One Hundred Camels? LOLOL! Me no English.
2. When People in Every Country You Go To Talk About How Their Country Is Known for its Hospitality, Agree With Them
Yes, yes, I DO like tea.
3. Take the Train- It’s the Best Way to Get Around
And like, everybody’s doing it.
4. For the Love of GOD, Don’t Bring Toilet Paper
You can buy it EVERYWHERE (for like, ten cents), stick a roll in your bag, and voila! Toilet paper in bathroom. Don’t expect the squishy kind.
5. Don’t Bring a Roller Bag or You Will Hate Yourself
Where are Super Heroes (Power Rangers?) when you need them?
6. Street Food is Delicious And Cheap, So EAT IT
Bring Imodium for Emergencies.
7. Always Sleep and Pee Whenever You Get the Chance
You never know when your next opportunity will be.
8. Shower Head First, Body Second
When hot water is scarce, this will save you from hypothermia.
9. Village Food is the Best, So Go Off The Beaten Path
Apart from the awesome, generally down to earth people you’ll meet, LOOK AT THAT.
10. Always Lean Forward On A Squat Toilet
Or you know, say hello to some scraped cheeks and the need for a lysol shower.
11. Buy Food for Beggars, Don’t Give Them Money
Personal choice, but child beggars will usually sit down wherever they are and eat their meal immediately.
12. When In Doubt, Brush Your Teeth With Bottled Water
Or you know, with a bottle of Jack.
13. If Someone Offers to Let Their Mom Cook You Dinner, the Answer is ALWAYS YES
Its probably better than what your Mom makes.
14. Make Rules and Stick to Them
3 Cockroaches = Max
10 Cockroaches in My Hotel = Find a better hotel
The quota for rats is ALWAYS 0.
15. Always Speak in the Native Language, No Matter How Much You Suck at It
Most of the time you can get those knock-off converse from a cart cheaper this way.