1. Every night out takes at least two hours to get home from.
Around half of that is spent waiting for night buses.
3. Since the drinking ban on public transport you’ve been forced to think of creative ways to hide your alcohol on the tube.
4. Your four least favourite words in the world are “rail replacement bus service”.
5. You start flathunting and realise that you’ll never be able to afford to live close to uni.
“Maybe if I get a studio flat and don’t eat or drink ever again…?”
6. You have to pay rent over the summer, unlike loads of your non-London friends.
Because nine-month leases just don’t exist here like they do in student towns.
7. You can’t even think about looking for a house for next year before August.
Meanwhile, all your friends elsewhere are sorted in JANUARY.
8. And the house you finally find leaves a lot to be desired.
At least it has windows.
9. Once you move out of halls, seeing friends who don’t live in the same bit of London as you just doesn’t happen.
Unless you’re the sort of person that likes living on public transport.
10. Your student loan comes in…and all of it goes straight back out on rent.
11. You spend whatever is left of your student loan in Topshop.
12. Then have to apply for an additional “hardship fund” on top of your loan, because, well, you’re so hard up.
13. The cost of a pint is 238,694 times higher than it is for your friends up north.
14. While your friends spend Freshers’ Week getting wasted in their student bars, you have a huge city as your playground.
Which is terrifying, but also a lot of fun.
15. People back home are always asking what exciting ~London~ things you’ve done.
16. But you actually spend most of your spare time drinking or recovering from drinking.
And studying, a bit.
17. And you barely have time for fun anyway as you’re holding down three part-time jobs.
18. You’ll be finishing uni with an endless overdraft and credit card bill hanging over your head.
19. You go to more tourist attractions when your parents visit than you will for the remainder of your degree.
20. Once exams come around you spend all your time in the library, so, really, you could be anywhere in the world.
21. But at least London has some beautiful libraries for you to choose from.
22. You probably even signed up for membership of the British Library. And went twice.
23. You end up going to every student night at least once, whether you want to or not.
Ministry of Sound? Check. Tiger Tiger? Check. Roxy? Of course.
I guess the music was sort of OK and the drinks were extremely cheap but can we all agree this was a terrible place.
25. You have to get streetwise quicker in London.
Unlike friends you visit at campus unis, who live in a constant bubble of student life. “There are people and places outside the campus?!”