We (Americans) use tons. In fact, there’s a sign on a road near my house that says “Weight limit 2 tons.”
We (Americans) use tons. In fact, there’s a sign on a road near my house that says “Weight limit 2 tons.”
LOL #13. My 6th grade teacher’s name was Ms. Bachschmidt. When we had assignments, we had to write her name underneath ours. Word’s spell check always suggested that her name should be Ms. Bull Sh*t. Also, my job consists of emailing invoices to customers. In Outlook, I’ll start my emails by saying, “Good morning. Your invoice for…” It always underlines “your” and suggests “you’re” and it drives me insane.
I gained 40 pounds in the 5 years I was in college. I have no one to blame but myself - I was lazy and ate fast food way more often than I cooked for myself. I’m 5’3” and when I started college I weighed 135 (which is at the top end of “normal” for my height and was the smallest I can ever remember being), and I weighed 175 after graduation this summer (the heaviest I have ever been). I went from a size 8 to a size 12. I’ve started trying to lose weight for a few months now. Drinking 1-2 sodas per week instead of per day, only eating out on the weekends, TRYING to get some exercise etc. I weighed myself this morning and it said 165! Although I don’t feel any different and I feel like my clothes fit just the same as always. But, I suppose it’s a start.
My favorite: Taco Dip 8 oz cream cheese (softened)
8 oz sour cream
1 packet of taco seasoning Mix cream cheese, sour cream and taco seasoning together. Spread on a platter. Top with lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, whatever you want. Use tortilla chips to dip. Try not to eat the whole platter in one sitting.
The first time I saw this picture, I saw blue and black. Then I looked a few minutes later and saw white and gold. As I stared at the white and gold, it changed to blue and black before my eyes. Now I can only see blue and black.
I was at marching band practice. We always had to run back to our sets when rehearsing through sections of our show. So, we finished a run-through and ran back to a certain set and our director called us to attention. As soon as we all snapped to attention, the guy in front of me accidentally farted. The guy behind me started laughing so hard, which caused me to laugh incredibly hard. Before I could stop it, pee was running down my legs (I was wearing light gray shorts made of thin material). We went for a water break soon after and I sat on the hot sidewalk hoping that it would dry. Nobody said anything but I’m sure everyone noticed.
“What sound does an Arctic Tern make?” “BACKSTREET BOYS!”
The Cyruses used to live in my hometown before Miley got famous. At the time, my mom worked at a toy store. She said one night they had to stay open extra late (like past midnight) just so Billy Ray could do his Christmas shopping for his kids with no one else there.
My cheat sheet for an exam last year. Our only restrictions were the size of the paper and that we could only use the front and back of one sheet. I won that challenge.
When a lane of traffic is ending soon and I leave a hole for someone to merge and they don’t take it and decide to wait until the very end of the lane to get over. I don’t let them through then. They had their chance and didn’t take it. Happens almost every day going to work.
My grandma makes both ham and turkey on Christmas. On Thanksgiving it’s just turkey and Easter it’s just ham for us. I chose turkey because that’s what I usually end up choosing.
Yup. And each year it’s crept into actual Thanksgiving Day. This year I heard one retailer was open at 6 AM on Thanksgiving Day, while others were opening at 6 PM, just in time for Thanksgiving dinner. Felt bad for the workers. I refuse to shop on Black Friday.
Wait, but I clearly remember the L’oreal Kids commercials saying, “No tears (like crying), no tangles, ‘cause we’re worth it too!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHzYEN1lS2Q
Ketchup?! On mashed potatoes? Ew.
Sausage biscuit, hash brown, cup of water. $2 plus tax and it’s filling. Sure, it’s not healthy, but it’s so delicious.
This is absolutely me.
I’m surprised so many knew North and South Dakota. Seems kind of random to me.
Also, when we play Euchre at home, if you want to pass your call you say “Pass” or knock on the table. One time he just says “Texas”. When we looked at him he goes, “You know, like El ‘PASS’o?” Groan. :)
My dad doesn’t text often (I have 14 texts from him since January) but he’ll usually email me at work asking about random stuff. One time he was asking what commercial from 5+ years ago had a doctor saying “Sleepy Time” in it because he wanted to show it to a guy at his work who sleeps a lot. Haha, oh, dad… Gotta love him :)
That pillow spelled “truly” wrong. Not buying that!
Sloppy Joes (my grandma’s recipe - they’re savory, not sweet, and absolutely delicious) NOTE: This is a family-sized recipe that makes A LOT. Halve or quarter the recipe as desired. 5 lbs ground beef - use the leanest you can find and you won’t have to drain the grease (I use the one that is only 4% fat) – something close to that works good 1 small onion chopped 1 quart tomato juice salt - I just sprinkle some on top
pepper - ditto - taste the meat when you are almost done cooking and you can always add more.
1/3 cup dry tapioca
Preheat oven to 350
Spray a large casserole dish with Pam - Approximately 5 quart size
Mix all ingredients except for the tapioca in the casserole dish with your hands
Bake approximately 15 minutes at a time and then stir and bake another 15 minutes, etc. until all meat is browned. Probably a total of about 45 minutes to an hour
Stir in the tapioca and cook for another 15 minutes. It should be nice and thick.
Put on buns and eat it up!!
If it still looks greasy after you add the tapioca, that is when it is the easiest to spoon out the grease that will be on top. Just take a large spoon and press down on the meat and it should separate itself into the spoon.
Every once in a while we’ll play with Rando Cardrizzian. It amazes me just how many times Rando is able to get something perfect in a “pick 2” card.
Hedwig’s death in the books was the only one that truly caught me off-guard. I wasn’t expecting a death so early in the book. I turned a page and BAM so sad.
I don’t understand the point of the digital measuring cup… It looks like it displays what the markings on the cup already say.
I got an email from a company about an open position that would be starting during my final semester of college. My school was an hour and a half away, so there was no way I could have worked there. They asked me to come interview anyway, so I did, but I didn’t prepare or practice at all - I considered it practice for future interviews. The first question he asked was “Tell me about yourself.” I remember thinking that I am not supposed to answer this by telling my life story from birth. What do I do? I say, “Well I was born in…” and go on from there. It happened a lot where I knew what I shouldn’t say and said it anyway. At the end of the interview the guy was giving me interviewing tips. I was mortified and he made me feel like a fool. I’m glad I didn’t get a job there. I’m now in my second week working at a job that I really enjoy so far!
Yup. I worked at the ticket booth at a movie theater for two summers. One time I had a guy come up to my window and asked to purchase tickets to a movie whose showtime was 28 minutes prior. (Side note, the showings automatically cleared out of the system after 30 minutes past the start time). I told him that the movie itself was probably 10 minutes in already and he was fine with that, so I rang up the transaction. He then asks me to look up what other movies are playing around this time. I had to clear the transaction and click through my screen and told him every movie with a show time coming up. He then decides he wanted to see the first movie after all. Well by that time it had cleared out of the system. He got mad at me and said, “Well if you hadn’t told me about every movie I could have seen this one!” Ugh, people. OH, and one night it was close to closing time, only a few showings left. The lobby is deserted. A lady walks in (there is absolutely nobody in line) and orders her tickets and then gives me her credit card. It was company policy to ask for ID for debit/credit card transactions if the card wasn’t signed on the back. Hers wasn’t, so I asked for ID. She got SUPER PISSED at me because her driver’s licence was in her car and she’d have to walk back and get it. (It amazed me how many people didn’t keep their license in their wallet with their card…) So, after yelling about how unfair it is, and me explaining it was company policy in place to protect customers from identity theft, she says, “FINE! I’ll go get my f*cking licence out of my f*cking car!” and storms out. She comes back a minute later, still nobody in line, slams her ID on my counter and I rang up the transaction. After all was said and done my manager said, “Wow it’s like you asked her to walk to Alaska or something.” Jeez. Glad I don’t work there anymore, but the free movies were a nice perk.
I laughed way too hard at #7
Mine aren’t horrible compared to others, but one guy knocked on my dorm room door and the second I got it open he said, “I’m breaking up with you.” He could have punched me in the face and I’d have been less surprised. The worst one happened just a few days after Valentines Day (where he gave me a card saying something like “I can’t believe we’ve been dating this long but I love it and you.”). We spent the afternoon together - he bought me lunch and we walked around Walmart. We went back to my apartment and he walked me to my door and before I went inside he said, “I don’t know how to say this, but…” and proceeded to break up with me. Note to all guys out there: Don’t take a girl to lunch and then break up with her an hour later.
My high school looked like a penis from the air. They had emergency escape maps in every classroom. You can imagine the hilarity that caused with a bunch of teenagers.
I’m so hungry now! Is nachos for breakfast frowned upon?
My best friend is 7 inches taller than me. She’s awesome :)
That dog on the table kills me. His face is hilarious.
My brother used to work at Burger King and he said that with the fish sandwiches, the fish would be kept in a warmer and when the light turned red they were supposed to throw it away. His manager told him when that happened to keep pushing the buttons until the light turned green again.
I always find myself thinking at 4:00, “if the time hadn’t changed last night I would be going home right now.” But in the spring I think just the opposite and say, “Yay, I normally would be stuck here another hour” when 5:00 rolls around.
I got Nashville. I live 35 minutes from there.
I bought a bag of the fun size packs of Starbursts once. My roommate and I munched on them over the next few weeks and we think there’s a conspiracy and that they make fewer pink ones than the other colors. It was rare that we opened a packet with a pink one in it.
My grandparents have one of those can crushers. It’s a lot of fun.
#15 … I had a roommate my sophomore year of college who left her half of the dorm room looking just like that mess… It started encroaching on my half. That was a long year.
I saw a show about those twins on Investigation Discovery. It was creepy.
You’re right. Rookie mistake. Won’t happen again. :)