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Clueless: The Musical - Dream Casting!

This should have happened like, yesterday. Here’s to getting the ball rolling.

1. Clueless: The Musical - Dream Casting!

Clueless should be a musical. If you disagree, please return to whatever commie country you emerged from and get off my lawn.

2. Lets start with the boys, and more specifically, Bronson Alcott High’s favorite Baldwin, Christian.

Darren Criss. He already has the ‘is he gay or straight’ persona down that perplexed Cher for weeks on end (an eternity in teen years), but he might need to work on his bad boy brooding act. Darren runs the risk of being campy and over the top, but, hey, we’re casting a musical here.

3. Arguably the hottest (straight) guy in Cher’s crew, Elton was the total package. So, who better to play him than another total package? Step up to the plate, Ian Somerhalder.

Besides that whole, “do you even know who my father is?” stint, and leaving his pals on the street corner to get mugged thing, Elton was every 16 year old’s dream…. Ian is the perfect mix of sultry and intimidating, and would easily be the most popular guy at your high school. The social leader of the crew, if you will.

4. Murray was the definition of swag in the 90s. Super cool, but goofy and playful. Enter Corbin Bleu.

Corbin can already sing and dance, and has experience being in a high school-based musical (see what I did there?). He just killed it on Dancing With the Stars, so I’m totally envisioning a slammin’ hip hop number on the school’s lawn with his boys, complete with basketball-infused choreo. It would be “Da Bomb”.

5. Grungy, Skateboarding extrodinare with a flair for hazy one-liners, Travis was the lovable loadie of the mid-90s.

Jake Johnson. Sure he might look a little bit older, but it makes sense that a stoner would be held back a few years, right? And as we all know from the flashbacks on New Girl, he can play “high” impeccably well.

6. Ex-stepbrother Josh, meet Adam Brody.

Not sure if Adam can sing, but he was made for this role. His dorky humor and overall preciousness make him the ideal choice to play Cher’s i̶n̶c̶e̶s̶t̶u̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶other half. Can you just envision the adorbs ballad sung by him and Cher during the scene when they are sitting on the staircase, sealed with their first kiss as the lights fade? Of course you can.

7. Bring in the Betties! The ladies of Clueless shaped our vocabulary and our fashion choices for the better part of a decade. Let’s begin with the often times ensemble-y challenged, Tai.

Emma Stone. Does this one really need an explanation?

8. Oh Amber. Who can fill the shoes of the girl who taught us to match fun hand signals to our words? 90s Ambular hopefully wouldn’t say “Whatever!” to her 2014 dopplegagner, Hayden Panettiere.

While Hayden isn’t a full on Monet, she looks good as a red-head and wouldn’t have a problem channeling her inner-biotch. I can almost see putting Kim Kardashian in her place. But then, we’d have to be exposed to Kim Kardashian. No one wants that.

9. Bestie Alert! Naya Rivera as Dionne.

Naya is the mean girl you love to hate, with quick wit and a sharp edge. However, peel back the layers and you see a girl who has depth and heart… not to mention, girl can sing. I see a Dionne showstopper sexy enough to make Murray rethink his triffilin’ ways.

10. And finally….Cher herself, played by none other than Ashley Benson.

Smart, in an entitled, fab, blonde way… sassy, comedic timing, but most important, likability - which is a must when casting Cher. Also, Benzo is so hot right now. The perfect gal to bring Cher to a new generation.

11. Make this happen, Hollywood. How can you say no to these faces?

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