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    78 Thoughts I Had During The “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” Season 4 Premiere

    “Who bought this sex tape? Make yourselves known.”

    1. Mimi and Stevie J being business partners in her new music management company is not going to go well.

    2. Also, Mimi is managing musicians now? Doesn't she run a cleaning business?

    3. And Lil' Kim's mentee Tiffany Foxx wants Mimi to manage her?!

    4. PLEASE, PLEASE BE RUNNING AWAY FROM STEVIE J, JOSELINE.

    5. Did Stevie J really just offer Mimi a bottle of his sperm to create another baby?

    6. And did he really just call it his "special sauce"?

    7. **Pauses DVR to vomit.**

    8. "I can't be a greaseball like that." Side-eyeing Stevie J RN.

    9. He wants to have both Mimi and Joseline together again. He really actually wants to be a greaseball, huh?

    10. King of Diamonds finally makes it on one of these shows. Makes sense.

    11. Jessica Dimepiece and this pink wig, though. Get it, ma.

    12. Karlie Redd and Jessica Dimepiece are friends?

    13. Dawn wants Jessica Dimepiece to give Joseline a run for her money in Atlanta. Girl, stop.

    14. Another stripper turned rapper. Here for it.

    15. Guess we'll see her soon in Atlanta.

    16. "I don't really know Joseline Hernandez. I know Shenellica Bettencourt. That's how far we go back." !!!!!

    17. That's the name Joseline went by when she danced in Miami!

    18. Why isn't Joseline returning your phone calls? Girl, bye. You already know. Don't come for the Puerto Rican Princess, honey.

    19. $30,000 a week?! DOING WHAT?

    20. Oh, look. Momma Dee is actually wearing a crown. (But what about that tooth?)

    21. Momma Dee and Erica are actually being friendly to each other? Setting the egg timer for how long this will last.

    22. Lil Scrappy is (still) being trifling. Oh, OK.

    23. The Bambi? She's a thing still?

    24. Momma Dee managing to get through "I Deserve" with her tooth staying in place… Victory!

    25. Scrappy's hood. Son. What's really going on?

    26. Mimi, Rasheeda, Ariane, Karlie, and Erica painting this naked model. Oh, wait. He has on underwear.

    27. Gratuitous shots of his penis, though.

    28. The girls think Mimi is crazy. They are correct.

    29. More gratuitous shots of the model's penis. Glory.

    30. Erica reveals that Scrappy is almost $50,000 behind in child support. Shock. Appall.

    31. Ashley? Rasheeda. Honey. C'mon.

    32. Jessica Dime and Mimi? Joseline's head just exploded.

    33. These paintings of the model — and his penis — are ridiculous. Stick to reality TV, ladies.

    34. OH SHIT. Margeaux, Nikko's wife, is on this season?

    35. Open marriage? And you had a side thing too, so…be quiet?

    36. But you're over here mad about the sex tape? Not that he was with another woman, but that he made a sex tape with another woman?

    37. She's going to move to Atlanta? Of course she is. This is a reality show. And you are an aspiring model and fashion designer. Go get that exposure and that check.

    38. Nikko wasn't in love with Mimi; they were in a business relationship. Have several seats.

    39. OH HELL. That sex tape was planned? MIMI AIN'T GONNA LIKE THIS.

    40. Stevie J hitting on Mimi. SHOCKER.

    41. Stevie J drinking too much. SHOCKER.

    42. Stevie J making a scene. SHOCKER.

    43. Mimi questioning if she wants to stay in business with Stevie J. SHOCKER.

    44. Stevie J. Period.

    45. Kirk's new office is not an office; it's an apartment.

    46. And he's lighting candles. And he's a jerk.

    47. Ashley Nicole. Who?

    48. A five-album deal? With Kirk? Who are you? State your intentions, girl.

    49. Rasheeda doesn't know about this apartment.

    50. It costs $3,500 a month. Two bedrooms.

    51. She's going to be pissed. Very.

    52. We don't believe that you've been on your best behavior, Kirk. You need more people.

    53. Of course Mimi is writing a book and doing a photo shoot for it.

    54. "You didn't think I'd find out about the photo session?" Why are you still on this show, Nikko?

    55. Massive groan. 25%? For a three-book deal?

    56. WHAT ON EARTH DOES SHE HAVE TO SAY FOR THREE ENTIRE BOOKS, THOUGH?

    57. The barbershop. Baldwin? Is that you?

    58. "Direct something in your own life and stop trying to fucking eat off me." We're about a season too late for this, Mimi. A season too late.

    59. Nope. Not this sex tape. We've been trying to forget about it.

    60. Rasheeda? Do you rap still? Or are you all about selling cosmetics and whatnot?

    61. "All we need is $50,000."

    62. WAIT UNTIL SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT THAT APARTMENT.

    63. Please don't bring up your juice, Stevie. Please.

    64. Stevie J may be "a little bit of an alcoholic." OK then.

    65. Oh, now we care about what the blogs are reporting?

    66. "I might have failed one or two. I got this under control." But do you?

    67. Shit just got serious. Where is Joseline? WHERE IS THE PUERTO RICAN PRINCESS?

    68. Um, you know cameras are following you, right? Stay within the realms of the law, dude.

    69. OMG. FREAKO. NEW NICKNAME. BOOM.

    70. Random, but: Where is Benzino? Will we see him this season?

    71. Stevie J and Freako meet in a parking lot...

    72. This is dark.

    73. This will not be good.

    74. $2 million? Freako, go home.

    75. Who bought this sex tape? Make yourselves known.

    76. Spill it, Stevie.

    77. "I'm going to fuck your wife?"

    78. On second thought...we believe him.

    Love & Hip Hop Atlanta airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/7 CT on VH1.