Maybe you've heard: After forty-seven years of Katy Perry-free Super Bowls, one Ms. Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson has finally been tapped to perform on the world's biggest stage.
Ahh, Sunday...Nothing but sitting on the couch, watching my new favorite sport...
While there are bound to be haters — dark clouds to Katy's perennial rainbow — this is excellent news: for Katy Cats, football fans and America. Here's why:
1. She can really sing! Unlike some other robot-voiced pop machines, Katy's got the goods.
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The goods being flawless vocals and a magnetic stage presence.
2. She's had nine (!!) number-one singles, her set list is basically guaranteed to be party-pop perfection.
3. She understands the importance of spectacle.
Raw vocal talent and a deep catalog of hits only get you so far, you know?
4. She knows how to bring songs to life.
5. Is a song about pyrotechnics? Shit better fucking explode during that final chorus.
6. There is literally no metaphor she won't bring to life.
7. No metaphor? No problem! She'll wrap herself in Christmas lights and turn the smoke machine up to eleven.
8. Or she'll just dress for the venue instead.
What does a pop star wear to a political rally? Why a latex ballot dress, of course!
9. But if pageantry doesn't do it for you, underneath all the costumes and craziness is a sensitive singer-songwriter.
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10. Who can play her own guitar.
In fact, she started her career as a girl with a guitar. First, as a Christian-pop act and then as a Warped Tour headliner.
11. She's also a serious athlete.
She's got the eye of the tiger and the resting heart rate of an Olympian.
12. And a proven football fan.
13. She knows how to bust a move.
14. And is a proud American.
15. Basically, her resumé is undeniable.
16. And the NFL is just confirming what we already knew: This is your new Queen of Pop.
