21 Things I Learned From “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding”

This is seriously the best show on TV right now. It centers around a number of Romanichal Gypsy families in America, and because it airs on The Learning Channel, I thought I’d share some of the things I learned from it.

1. The party don’t start ‘till these two walk in.

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2. Bleach is a great teeth whitener…

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3. …but try not to swallow it.

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4. This is an appropriate thing to do at a baby shower.

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5. Romanichal brides LOVE poofy dresses.

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6. Seriously, the poofier the better.

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7. Even the babies love poofy dresses.

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8. “The eyes are the nipples of the face.”

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9. A tattoo is a great way to accessorize a costume that you’ll only wear once.

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…and will be covered up by sleeves anyways.

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10. Dates must be chaperoned by a male family member.

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11. The bleach industry was seriously affected by the recession.

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12. Romanichal girls can’t kiss a boy until they’re married…

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13. …but the guys can do whatever they want.

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14. A lot of Romanichal girls run away to get married with boys they just met.

Cole (17) asked Hope (14) to run away with him after one night of a dancing and a few nights of serious texting.

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15. Even if they don’t run off they usually get married before they turn 18.

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16. Non-gypsies are called “gorgers” and they’re huge sluts.

Typical gorger.

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17. Romanichal parties are crazy!

This party had to be held in a house because none of the venues in town would agree to host a Romanichal party. There is also no formal invite or RSVP system, Romanichals just show up.

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18. Everyone has a blowout.

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19. EVERYONE has a blowout.

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20. Rhinestones are a girl’s best friend.

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21. This is how people propose now.

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