21 Things I Learned From “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding”

This is seriously the best show on TV right now. It centers around a number of Romanichal Gypsy families in America, and because it airs on The Learning Channel, I thought I’d share some of the things I learned from it.

1. The party don’t start ‘till these two walk in.

2. Bleach is a great teeth whitener…

3. …but try not to swallow it.

4. This is an appropriate thing to do at a baby shower.

5. Romanichal brides LOVE poofy dresses.

6. Seriously, the poofier the better.

7. Even the babies love poofy dresses.

8. “The eyes are the nipples of the face.”

9. A tattoo is a great way to accessorize a costume that you’ll only wear once.

…and will be covered up by sleeves anyways.

10. Dates must be chaperoned by a male family member.

11. The bleach industry was seriously affected by the recession.

12. Romanichal girls can’t kiss a boy until they’re married…

13. …but the guys can do whatever they want.

14. A lot of Romanichal girls run away to get married with boys they just met.

Cole (17) asked Hope (14) to run away with him after one night of a dancing and a few nights of serious texting.

15. Even if they don’t run off they usually get married before they turn 18.

16. Non-gypsies are called “gorgers” and they’re huge sluts.

Typical gorger.

17. Romanichal parties are crazy!

This party had to be held in a house because none of the venues in town would agree to host a Romanichal party. There is also no formal invite or RSVP system, Romanichals just show up.

18. Everyone has a blowout.

19. EVERYONE has a blowout.

20. Rhinestones are a girl’s best friend.

21. This is how people propose now.

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