1. “Oh, this will just take a second,” says sober you.
Keely Flaherty / Via BuzzFeed
“I CAN’T GET IT…TECHNOLOGY?!” drunk you screams into your phone, waiting for an answer.
Image Entertainment / Via youtube.com
2. “How convenient, a taxi!” says sober you.
“THANK YOU, MAGICAL CHARIOT MADE JUST FOR ME!” drunk you screeches into the cabbie’s ear.
Disney / Via disney-darling.tumblr.com
3. “Pizza is such a satisfying treat,” says sober you.
“THIS IS THE BEST MEAL OF MY WHOLE LIFE EVER!” drunk you cries into the night, shedding a single tear.
Martha Stewart / Via marthastewart.com
4. “Oh, look, some barstools,” says sober you.
5. “Oh, look, the sidewalk,” says sober you.
6. “Oh, look, a toilet,” says sober you.
“LOOK, A BED!” whispers drunk you.
Walt Disney / Via gemini-dragon-gifs.tumblr.com
7. “Man, I don’t like taking the stairs,” says sober you.
8. “What a helpful map,” says sober you.
“WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?” drunk you screams, and throws the confusing paper away.
Warner Brothers / Via send-this-smile-to-you.tumblr.com
9. “Hello, kitty, I missed you,” says sober you.
“WHAT AM I EVEN DOING WITH MY LIFE, KITTY?” drunk you weeps.
NBC / Keely Flaherty / Via youtube.com
“MAYBE IF I HAD A MILLION FINGERS THEN OK,” drunk you yells at your shoelaces.
11. “Time to calculate a 20% tip before I head home,” says sober you.
“CAN’T MATH, HERE YOU GO!” drunk you says and throws some cash.
NBC / Via uproxx.com
12. “I’ve been sitting for a while, I should walk around,” says sober you.
“WHY SO MUCH GRAVITY?” drunk you cries mid-collapse.
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13. “I better reapply my makeup,” says sober you.
“THIS WILL NOT END WELL,” drunk you says to the bathroom mirror.
14. “Ew, look at those communal bar peanuts,” says sober you.
“YOU TINY MIRACLES, COME TO ME,” drunk you cries through a mouthful of communal bar peanuts.
PBS / Via fuckyeahsesamestreet.tumblr.com
15. “Man, I can’t wait to get these uncomfortable shoes off when I get home,” says sober you.
16. “Oops, I spilled my drink, let me grab some napkins,” says sober you.
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