1. When he goes all bad boy, your motor skills suddenly get very sloppy.
2. All of your most secret, intimate dreams involve gold body paint.
3. You sometimes find yourself thinking about how much he does with his hands. He seems very good...with his hands.
4. And even when he's not slathered in gold paint, Mr. Gold's sexual darkness shines through.
5. When he goes all hopeless romantic, GOOD LORD.
6. He makes you long to chip a tea cup.
7. This sight makes your ovaries explode:
8. EXPLODE.
9. You have zero understanding of people who find Charming more attractive than Rumple.
10. His skewed sense of justice really does it for you.
11. You long to mend his tortured, tortured soul.
12. And get to all that sweet, sweet devotion underneath the torture.
13. You think about his wand a lot.
14. And those leather pants he wears in the Enchanted Forest.
15. And also his wand, ya know?
16. You only ship Rumple with one person...
17. ...and that person is you.
18. He's the only person in any realm who can make the man-corset hot.
19. You'd trade all your magic beans to have him look at you the way he looks at Belle.
