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24 Reasons Going To The Beach Is Actually The Worst

The ocean hates your love.

1. The ocean is filthy. The ocean is a big fish toilet.

Fox / burgertv.tk/83480727082/diapers

Fox / burgertv.tk/83480727082/diapers

 

AND OTHER SEA CREATURE EXCREMENT.

2. And most of it is still unexplored. We don’t even know what’s down there.

Cartoon Network / Via 56ssfdrtykkl7t8.tumblr.com

ANYTHING COULD BE DOWN THERE.

3. EXCEPT FOR CRABS, LYING IN WAIT TO PINCH YOUR TOES AS YOU INNOCENTLY WALK BY.

Disney / Via giphy.com

JERKS.

4. AND, OH YEAH, SHARKS.

Go watch Jaws.

5. Going into the ocean is the equivalent of OFFERING YOURSELF UP AS SHARK FOOD.

BYE.

6. And what else lives in the ocean? GIANT SQUIDS.

Discovery / Via nealio9.tumblr.com

WAITING TO TOUCH YOU WITH THEIR TENTACLES.

7. The one thing we do know about the ocean for sure: It hates people.

8. It literally does nothing but kick us out.

9. Some people call them “waves” but they’re really just “passive-aggression.”

“HAHA, FCK U.”

10. The ocean loves nothing more than to fluctuate temperatures, just to mess with humans.

Paramount / ihearttitanic.tumblr.com/69602119757/titanic-film-trivia-when-jack-prevents-rose

Paramount / ihearttitanic.tumblr.com/69602119757/titanic-film-trivia-when-jack-prevents-rose

 

“Yesterday the water was 83 degrees and today it’s 0 DEGREES.”

11. And getting a drop of salty ocean water in your eyes? DEATH.

Cartoon Network / Via stvrships.tumblr.com

DEATH.

12. The beach is packed with people. And people cannot be trusted.

When I was a kid I would dig a hole in the sand, pee in it, and bury the hole back up. #beachfail

— Sara-Shojobeat (@ShojoAIE)

13. The sun lives at the beach, and the sun is horrible.

It burns you. It literally destroys your skin.

14. Spending one hour on a sunny beach can lead to one week of applying aloe and sleeping sitting up.

And, later, awkward tan lines.

15. The beach requires lugging around so many things that no one ever ends up using.

Beach balls, water floats, chairs, umbrellas, these are all POINTLESS THINGS.

16. No one ever really knows what to do once they get to the beach.

Maybe we’ll swim? Or just sit here?

17. But it doesn’t even matter what you do. The ocean is waiting to foil you.

“HAHA FCK U.”

18. Sand.

Focus Features / Via pixrack.info

It gets all over everything everywhere forever.

19. Beach parties.

Sand in your drink, sand in your food, sand everywhere forever.

20. Seagulls live at the beach, waiting for the opportune moment to fly by and poop on your food.

Pixar / Via crushable.com

“EXTRA MAYO? HAHA.”

21. It’s impossible to take a flattering picture at the beach.

THE WIND, THE SAND.

22. You think the beach is romantic? The beach is not romantic.

NOOOOPE.

23. The beach hates your love.

YUUUUUP.

24. Nothing good ever comes from going to the beach.

Just stay home.

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