23 Cats Who Just Want To Sing You The Song Of Their People

Harken, human.

1. Allow me to tell you a tail — haha, sorry, cat humor — of struggle and triumph.

2. I’ll just clear my throat and then we can get started.

3. This is the song my cat-mother used to sing to me, before you became my human-mother.

4. Everyone who hears it, human or cat, is struck by its beauty.

5. ARE YOU NOT STRUCK, HUMAN?

6. It’s a story of love and loss, of overcoming all obstacles.

7. Like that time you forgot to open the curtains for me before you went to work. That was a trying time.

8. Or whenever you try to touch my stomach and I’m forced to maul you. It hurts me, too.

9. Oh, and that time I only got treats in the morning, but not in the evening, because you were “out.” Dark times, human.

10. OMG AND that week when you were “sick” and I didn’t get to see the mysterious and magical red dot the whole time. Seriously.

11. I have a lot of feelings about that week, and I will express them all in song.

12. But it’s also a joyful song.

13. Like the joy and frustration I feel when the pigeons sit on the living room windowsill, taunting me.

14. And when I eat of the magical catnip, and feel all the things.

15. Oh, and waking you up before the sun rises each day. I enjoy that.

16. Turkey. Oh, sweet and succulent turkey.

17. TUNA. TUNA, MAN!

18. And you, human.

19. My cat-mother who knows just the right spot on my head to scratch.

20. And though I pretend to hate your human-kisses, I secretly love them.

21. (And I also love you, human-mom.)

22. DON’T YOU EVER TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT. EVER.

23. Now sing with me, human.

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