Controversial Opinion: “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” Was Way Better Than The Show

Hear me out: Though TV shows are rarely improved upon by their movie versions (AHEM, Sex and the City), Lizzie got better on the big screen.

1. The movie takes place in Rome.

The climax of the film is at a concert in the Colosseum, which is so much more interesting than suburban America.

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2. In “The Lizzie McGuire Movie,” there’s no Miranda.

Sorry, girl: Your character sucked and spent the whole show third-wheeling all over Lizzie and Gordo. Everyone was happy you missed the trip to Rome because you had to go to Mexico with your family.

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3. But there IS Miss Ungermeyer, the trip chaperone.

Played by comedian Alex Borstein, Miss Ungermeyer says things like, “You want a piece of the Ungermeyer?”

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She also had a beautiful budding love affair with a bodyguard aptly named Sergei.

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4. There are multiple amazing song and dance numbers.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=SEKzcIOwcgc.

5. Including a few with Paolo, the dumb-as-a-rock Italian pop star.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=9vyiGs1h3fQ.

6. There’s not a misstep on the soundtrack.

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Especially because of it includes this classic Hilary Duff single.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=oKuUxaOogXo.

7. The movie seems to have fewer animated Lizzies than the show.

Maybe because when they are used, they’re funnier. Or because Lizzie is just less stupidly awkward in the movie than in the show.

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8. There is definitely less Matt in the movie.

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He was so annoying. Not funny annoying, just annoying. His rare appearances in the film aren’t any better.

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9. There is also limited time with Lizzie’s parents.

Maybe it’s a McGuire family trait, but Sam and Jo were way too neurotic.

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10. The movie was sans Aaron Carter.

Sorry, Aaron, this is not your party.

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11. The fashion in the movie is spectacular.

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12. Lizzie’s Italian pop star doppelganger Isabella is a total badass, unlike her former, untalented partner Paolo.

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13. In “The Lizzie McGuire Movie,” it is implied that Ethan and Kate get together.

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Their shared love of spaghetti proves that they are meant to be.

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14. Kate also got nice.

She doesn’t lose her bitchy one-liners, but she and Lizzie bond.

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15. Gordo and Ethan find common ground as well.

Ethan teaches Gordo how to pick up women, a tactic he calls “slow curve.”

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16. Lizzie stops whining to Gordo about how no one loves her.

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17. Lizzie and Gordo FINALLY get together after years of annoying sexual tension.

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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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18. The show never had a scene anywhere close to as good as the finale scene in the movie.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=5-s7ol38Ifs.

Truly, this movie is what dreams are made of.

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They even wrote a song about it.

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