1. “Teen Dream” follows British teens Darren and Natalie who have grown up next door to each other.
2. Things are changing inside their bodies, attacking them in the middle of the night.
3. Darren now finds that he has “the desire for sex.”
6. “The girl next door has become the woman of his dreams.”
7. He and Natalie have a conversation about how she wants to get a tattoo.
8. But he can’t really focus on what she’s saying.
(Unrelated: the way he says’s tattoo is so cute and overpronounced.)
9. Darren has a sexy dream where he imagines he’s giving Natalie a tattoo.
10. Which looks like this.
11. Which leads Darren to get…excited.
12. The hottest guy in school is named David Blane.
(A text from Natalie’s best friend Simone.)
13. He’s demoted in the school musical (a rap version of Romeo and Juliet) for Darren because David Blane can’t sing.
14. Natalie is not pleased.
15. “Darren and Natalie are losing control of their bodies to hormones…Last night, Darren had a testosterone surge, with unfortunate consequences.”
16. Darren really can’t catch a break; his “penis has a mind of its own.”
17. Meanwhile, “While Darren suffers at the hand of hormones, Natalie is benefitting.”
18. David Blane gets it.
19. Dude is really bold.
20. Luckily best friend Simone is not having it.
21. Two months later, the Romeo and Juliet rap musical is still in rehearsals and Darren’s growth spurt means he STILL can’t catch a break.
22. His muscles are getting bigger though, and David Blane is jealous.
23. (Caught looking at something else he’s jealous of.)
24. As Darren gets hotter, Natalie has the tattoo dream too.
25. Who will she pick to finish the tattoo?
26. Unfortunately for Natalie, underarm hair is happening.
27. And it doesn’t smell good.
28. David’s not digging it.
30. And Natalie knows it.
31. Pimples strike girls too.
32. She’s also discovering that David Blane is kind of a dick.
33. Don’t worry, Darren lets him have it.
34. The only problem now is that Simone is into Darren!
35. Darren, sweetie, haven’t you learned you can’t dance?
Also that SHIRT! What a terrible Romeo and Juliet rap musical this is going to be.
36. He’s feeling so good he’s decided this would be the time to kiss his poster of Britney Spears.
37. He’s doing this while his first sperm is growing, and while Natalie has just gotten her first period.
38. By the way, we should mention that Darren has this nebbish little friend with no name.
He hangs around.
39. Finally, the musical is ready and so is THE DANCING.
40. The worst part is when Darren’s voice cracks during the musical because “testosterone has one last cruel trick to play on Darren.”
“Now Darren can’t trust himself to speak at all.”
41. Yet: !!!
43. It’s a happy ending.
“Humans are the only animals to experience such a long, drawn-out puberty, probably because we need time to learn the complex rules of our species before sex gets in the way.”
44. You can watch the whole episode here.
You will definitely learn a lot.
- Illegal immigrants living in Britain will face abrupt eviction from rental properties under new laws designed to reduce the UK's appeal as a migrant destination.
- President Barack Obama will unveil on Monday a plan that is considered to be "the strongest action ever taken" in the U.S. to combat climate change.
- Cilla Black, the legendary English singer and TV star, has died at her home in Spain, according to local police. She was 72 years old.