When Barack Obama Said His Favorite Food Is Broccoli I Almost Died

Mr. President is such a tease. And I took the bait.

1. Dear world,

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2. When I read the news that broccoli was our admirable president’s favorite food, I nearly fainted.

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3. It was a beautiful July day.

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4. A beach day.

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6. Oh President, dear president, the gift you bestowed upon me on that day is invaluable.

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7. And you, always so humble.

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8. But you never stop. And there you went, announcing that the green, cruciferous vegetable is your favorite food.

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9. And you’ve already given me so much that I love.

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10. But let’s not be coy, Mr. President.

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11. I have a feeling you knew exactly what you were doing.

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12. Let’s start with the obvious.

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13. Your name is Barack.

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14. And so, inadvertently, or not, you already gave us this.

15. Which — honest — I haven’t been able to get over since my very first day seeing it.

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16. And then, you pull a fast one. You do this to me, Barack?

17. BARACK?!

18. Barack…

You know you left me with no choice

19. You hardly gave me a moment to catch my breath.

20. You barely gave me a chance.

22. Mr. President, you’re too much.

23. But you already knew that.

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