24 Signs You’re An Indie Musician

We make music. We’ve mastered the art of dodging an unwanted “collab” from Twitter based rappers … and choosing the font our band name should be written in keeps us up at night.

1. People ask ‘what else you do’ right after hearing what you do.

2. And if you’re being honest you say, “I’m also my tour manager, webmaster, booking agent, show promoter, music video casting director, marketing strategist, accountant, stylist, producer and den mother to 4 bandmates.”

3. You teared up during Jack Black’s pre-show prayer in School of Rock.

4. Uncle so and so corners you at the family barbecue and forces you to audition for The Voice.

5. You stay up til 4am on DaFont.com, trying to figure out if your name should be written in “KG Eyes Wide Open” or “Nouvelle Vague” on your website.

6. You pass on that venue you were excited to play when you realize they only accept booking submissions via actual mail. Like in an envelope. With a stamp.

7. More than one stranger has proposed to you in the comments of your YouTube videos.

8. Once the stranger was hot, so you kinda considered it for a second.

9. Your favorite pastime is trying to calculate if and when you’ll ever make enough income to join the Freelancer’s Union and FINALLY get some health insurance.

10. None of your friends with normal jobs can come to your Tuesday night, 11:30pm set waaaaay downtown.

11. Nothing’s more fulfilling than a fan telling you your song got them through a tough time.

12. Creepy strangers offer you odd jobs in their homes when they see you out busking.

13. You want to inflict violence upon people who tell you to add more covers to your set.

14. You get Tweets from random rappers asking you to “collab.”

15. You’ve given up trying to look excited that the person you’re talking to’s cousin’s dogwalker’s hair lady’s ex is a producer. Or has a studio.

16. You’re always in the bathroom for hours writing music and your roommates hate you for it.

17. None of your friends will watch TV with you anymore. Every time there’s music, you monologue about licensing.

18. The quality of your band practice is directly proportionate to the quality of the snacks.

19. 75 friends sent you this TedTalk.

20. You make CVS runs on tour to buy fake nails for your dude guitarist.

21. You book the rehearsal space for “after 11pm” to get the discount.

22. Bad breakups have a fortunate upside …

23. Your idea of success is the cook at the bar where you have a weekly gig knowing to get your mac & cheese started during the 2nd to last song of your set.

24. You’re on stage having the greatest time ever and realize, “wait a minute … I’m at WORK right now.”

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