What It’s Like To Call The Cable Company

The descent into madness and the darkest reaches of the human mind.

1. So all of a sudden your internet goes out…

ID: 1197815

2. No biggie. You’ll just call the cable company.

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3. It starts with the robot voice menu.

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4. “Operator.” “Operator.” “OPERATOR.” “OP-ER-AT-OR.” “Representative?”

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5. Phew, OK, you finally get through to someone.

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6. They ask for your account number. Because oh yeah, sure, you have your paper bill right here. NOT.

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7. After verifying every possible aspect of your identity, first things first, they remind you that you currently owe $173.51.

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8. No thank you, I will pay that later, online.

ID: 1197801

9. So you explain what’s going on. Your precious internet just isn’t working, can they send someone to fix it?

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10. Can you hold? Sure, you’ll hold.

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11. Yes, you DID try resetting the modem and the router. You’re not an idiot.

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12. Oh, the next available service appointment is in four weeks?

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13. Break out the big guns. Start yelling. This is UNACCEPTABLE.

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14. You tell them you’re going to switch to satellite.

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15. They agree to move up your appointment to this week.

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16. So you take off work and wait around all day, but they never show up.

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17. And it starts allllllll over again.

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Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at

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