Tumblr’s Updated Terms Of Service Possess An Alien Beauty

They’ve always been funny, but Tumblr hasn’t always been owned by Yahoo. posted on

1. Tumblr officially acknowledges its hero:

BBC / Via giphy.com

Tumblr just updated its Terms of Service, Privacy Policy, and Community Guidelines. The changes are relatively minor, except that they expressly state that all selfies can and will be used in Dr. Pepper marketing campaigns. I’m kidding lol.

Haha but seriously….. some bigwig lawyer signed off on these so that they could be up to snuff with Yahoo policy. Tumblr’s always had a little bit of jokey fun language in its guidelines, but now it seems a little more like a Cool Dad on a skateboard and backwards hat trying to convince you he’s still your Cool Dad. A lawyer in JNCOs.

Anyhoo, there’ still some good zings in there. A 17 year old Doctor Who fan named Josh put a list of highlighted screengrabs of the best of the new language.

Finally, “the alien beauty of Benedict Cumberbatch” is written into official Tumblr doctrine.

3. “We’re looking you in the eyes and telling you how beautiful you are.”

4. On location data: “Tumblr may determine your location by using drone technology and live video feeds. Ha, ha, no,”

5. On legal reporting: “Don’t make us narc on you.”

6. Re: gore, bestiality: “Dick.”

7. Why they don’t want to host porn: “it’s fucking expensive.”

8. On tag spam: “Don’t tag your cat with ‘doctor who; unless te name of your cat is actually Doctor Who’”

9. “THE ALIEN BEAUTY OF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH”

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