1. Realize that you’re stuck doing the chores they usually do.
3. Sleep like a mad person.
6. Realize how useful your spouse actually is.
8. Eat things only in bowls.
9. Avoid using any actual dishes.
10. Allow the dishes to pile up until they come home.
11. Eat the food your spouse is allergic to.
12. Do extremely experimental cooking ideas.
14. Binge-watch the TV shows they don’t like.
15. Stay up way too late binge-watching that show.
16. DELIVERY FOOD.
17. Get EXTREMELY annoyed if you have to wait to watch one of the shows you watch together.
19. Fill your wineglass extra high so you don’t have to get off the couch again.
20. Abuse electricity for the sake of extreme laziness.
22. Do the weird chores that would baffle and annoy your spouse if they saw you.
27. Seriously, you might get scurvy if they’re gone for more than two weeks.
28. Realize exactly how useful they really are.
29. Frantically clean up an hour before they come home.
- Protesters gathered in Chicago Tuesday night after city officials released the video of a white police officer fatally shooting Laquan McDonald, a black teenager. ›
- At least 19 people in seven U.S. states have been infected with E. coli in an outbreak officials believe is linked to rotisserie chicken salads sold at Costco. ›
- Adele broke the single-week U.S. album sales record set by NSYNC in 2000. "25" sold at least 2.43 million in about three days. ›