The Only Rule About Having Sex With A Flashlight

Don’t tweet about it.

The best part about brand engagement on social media is that everyone can see what weirdos are complaining about to various companies. Everyone sounds silly when complaining over the internet, but it’s even funnier if they’re doing it to a company that’s, well, a little embarrassing.

While it’s amusing to see what kind of complaints people are making to Pizza Hut or Delta, the specific nature of the Fleshlight (the adult toy for men that discretely looks like a flashlight) elevates tweets from the absurd to the sublime. To track these, I added in a separate column in Tweetdeck of all the replies to @Fleshlight, and I’ve been watching these for months. What I noticed is that they typically call into three main categories:

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