1. It’s a July heat wave, and the subway platform is like a new age sweat lodge and you’re about to start having visions.
3. Oh! Look at this! An empty car! You’ll get a seat during morning rush, what amazing luck!
4. Yay! Awesome!
9. You attempt to retreat.
12. Stage 1: Shock
NO NO NO NO NO WHAT????
13. Stage 2: Disbelief
THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING. HOW CAN THE SUBWAY NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING?
14. Stage 3: Anger
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK POOLS OF SWEAT ARE COLLECTING IN MY SHIRT. I’M SUCH A DUMMY.
15. Stage 4: Bargaining
PLEASE, GOD, IF YOU LET ME OFF THIS CAR I PROMISE GIVE THOSE BREAKDANCING “SHOWTIME, SHOWTIME” KIDS A DOLLAR EVERY TIME.