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21 Spine-Tinglingly Spooky Tales Of Turning 30

*Flashlight under chin* Listen up, twentysomethings… MUAHAHAHAH

Gather round the campfire, twentysomethings. Prepare yourself to hear the scariest, spookiest, creepiest, most terrifying stories your young mind can imagine…IF YOU DARE.

1. Five pounds shows up over the holidays……..and it never leaves.

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2. A thirtysomething finally scores a dream apartment in a hip neighborhood……..but all his friends move to the suburbs.

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3. The wrinkle cream that costs $70 a jar……..isn’t working.

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4. A birthday invite arrives, but the party is for……..for a 3-year-old.

5. And the party is……..2 p.m.–4 p.m. on a Sunday.

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6. The styles from your high school days are coming back……..but only for people barely born then.

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7. Someone you know admits they’ve had Botox……..and you’re more intrigued than repulsed.

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8. A formerly fun-loving and carefree thirtysomething has……..a kid.

9. Something sinister, something unexplainable happens to that person. They begin to enjoy……..the kid.

10. The babies on Teen Mom could be……..your grandchildren.

11. A 34-year-old man chats with a recent college grad at his workplace. Discovers that……..the kid has no idea who Zack Morris is.

12. Summer rolls around and a couple in their thirties realize they have……..no weddings to go to.

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13. Instead of hearing about new engagements on Facebook, they’re hearing of friends……..getting divorced.

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14. A 36-year-old gets a weird pain in his knee……..and it never goes away.

15. It’s Sunday morning. A couple in their thirties with nothing to do that day wakes up……..at 6:30 a.m.

New Line Cinema / Via giphy.com

16. The year is 2014. A woman in her thirties only sees her friends……..once a month……..and she’s totally OK with that.

17. Two friends in their thirties meet at a bar. They ask the bartender……..to turn down the music.

18. A 37-year-old is discussing movies with his friends……..and he’s only seen Pixar ones in the last six months.

19. A 31-year-old woman has two glasses of wine and wakes up with……..the worst hangover of her life.

20. *Turns on classic rock radio*……..Green Day song comes on.

Dear twentysomething, are you scared beyond belief? Well, there’s one more horrifying TRUE FACT for you:

21. One day YOU, TOO will……..turn 30.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

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