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Ode To The Adidas Shower Sandal

A poem dedicated to the thin line between shower scum and humanity.

1. You, you beacon of blue and white,

2. And your brethren, the black and white with your ergonomic massagers,

3. Your clear rubber nodules soothe and annoint my feet,

4. I scoff at my fellow man, his toes trapped in their sneaker prison,

5. The birds of the sky, they are kin to my toes as we both feel the freedom of the open air,

6. In my sandals, in my pants, they are united by stripes. They are legion in swag,

7. As I tramp these cold and dark streets you are my lone companion,

8. My socks! My socks! My black knights keeping my feet from chafing! Praise to thee.

9. In my jorts and my sandals I am wrapped in the casual/sporty comforts of the world,

10. I shuffle down the dorm hallway in my Old Navy denim cargos and you, my steadfast sandal,

11. With you, my sweet sweet Adidas sandals, we shall rest in the soft grass together,

12. And the bitter wet cold snow,

13. I will press my weight upon you, bearing down on your rubber nubs, nubbling them further, grinding them down,

14. I desecrate you, dissolve you with the sheer force gravity pushing down on the blood and cells in my body

15. But you, my Adidas shower sandals, I shall love for the rest of my years.

16. All day, I dream about shower sandals.

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Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about the intersection of tech and web culture.
 
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