STEP 1: Ensure that you are in a favorable environment. Hugs aren’t as effective in crowded areas, or places where other people might be staring at you. It’s awkward to have your best friend walk up and start talking to you while you’re hugging someone. Try a quiet street or park, or if you’re inside, go to the corner of the room.
STEP 2: Approach with caution, but confidence. That may sound impossible, but it can be practiced in other situations. You should be sure the girl is prepared for a hug, at least as far as the relationship goes; she probably won’t appreciate one if you only barely know her.
STEP 3: Look into her eyes for a few seconds. It’s generally preferable to smile and say something like “How was your day?” or some other relatively unimportant small talk that doesn’t call for a long reply… hopefully. The reply can come as an advantage, as a bad day might warrant a hug.
Step 4: Lean your torso forward and extend your arms. The girl should acknowledge this; if she doesn’t, pull back momentarily, just for a split second, to make sure she wants the hug. If you get the impression that she doesn’t want the hug, adjust your extended arms to offer a quick pat on the shoulder or back instead; however, the girl will probably extend her arms towards you as well. Take a step forward to have her feet and your feet nearly touching so that you don’t have to lean forward as far to reach her.
STEP 5: Embrace her by placing your arms around her back, perhaps near her waist, and lightly pulling her toward you. Her arms will typically be directed to either your waist or your shoulders. The first few seconds of the hug should be just like any other hug: firm but gentle. Be careful to avoid placing your hands on inappropriate places of the girl’s body.
STEP 6: Make the hug more intimate, if it’s appropriate. There are various things you can do to make your hug “more interesting”, but if performed under the wrong circumstances, they could easily make the girl feel a little uncomfortable, wanting to back away. Whatever direction you take it, a first hug should probably not last any more than four to five seconds. Remember that these options are generally not recommended for friend-only hugs, and it’s best not to attempt to combine these in a single hug.
• Move your arms around on her back just a few inches up and down, but wait a moment before doing so. Do not pat her back; this can make the hug awkward and too friendly.
• Slowly sway back and forth, exchanging your weight on each foot.
• Hold her tighter and lift her up off her feet by leaning backwards. You could even then proceed to spin her by turning around halfway or all the way. This is a playful and fun hug, but be sure the girl is going to accept it.
STEP 7: End the hug appropriately. It is likely that the girl will pull away before you do, but she may not. If she relaxes her arms, it is usually a sign that you should release her. When pulling away, simply let your arms slide out from her sides and back to rest at your own sides.
STEP 8: Make eye contact with her again. You want to give the impression that you appreciate the hug, so it would be good to smile. Once you have done that, you are pretty much free to go or strike up a conversation, or perhaps continue or close a conversation that you had started. Sometimes it is better to leave right after a hug, as it can make both of you want to embrace again and can strengthen a relationship.
17. BAM! THAT’S HOW YOU HUG, MOTHER EFFERS
• Try to have good hygiene.
• Just do it; the rest will come naturally. If you make a mistake, try to recover casually and don’t worry about it.
• As your relationship develops, you may hug more and more often. Experiment with hugs, but remember to keep them a shared experience and not a selfish indulgence.
• “Couple” status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don’t rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point.
• Don’t hold her too tight, so don’t squeeze her. Hold her firmly enough so she’s comfortable. Just give her a light squeeze.
• Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.
• You may want to whisper something in her ear while you’re hugging.
• If you know your girl well enough, she may be flattered if you pick her up and spin her, but some girls do not like that.
• If you must pat her back, make sure you don’t do it too hard. You don’t want to hurt her! However, some girls are uncomfortable with back-patting and are unlikely to hug you again any time soon.
• BE GENTLE! Girls are delicate, however tough some may seem, they are delicate…handle with care.
• Rarely, if not, a girl may ask you to hug (occasionally with body language) if she’s feeling sad or depressed. Do so and be careful; you may be stuck hugging her for awhile you can ask why she’s depressed/sad like “What’s wrong?”or something. This does not mean that you two will be together forever, that is just because she is having a bad day or something bad happened.
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