How To Get Babes Into Your Floating Hot Tub

The Hot Tug is a hot tub/boat made in the Netherlands, and it’s the ultimate pick up artist tool.

1. So it starts out my buddy Dave (who goes by Hammer) and I go out sarging some daygame.

2. Hammer is pronounced like “Miami Vice” composer Jan Hammer. He’s my wingman.

3. Hammer and I spot a 2set (twosome) of HB8s (hot babe level 8).

4. We motor our tub over to approach. I’ve got my opener ready.

5. “I need a female perspective. Hammer here says his girlfriend reads his texts. Do you think that’s ok?”

6. I drop a neg to disqualify her and demonstrate value.

7. “Is that your natural hair color?” “Well, it looks nice anyway.”

8. Next, I start kinoescalating. I take her hand…

9. I say I’m going to do a palm reading on her, but then change it up into a thumb war really quick.

10. She’s giving me mad IOI (indicator of interest) so I think I’m ready to make my move…

11. ……And we kiss-close. BAM.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

          
    Hot Buzz

    What Do You Think Is The Best Song To Have Sex To?

    collection

    What Celebrity Do You Want To Kiss Under The Mistletoe This Christmas?

    collection
    Now Buzzing