Everything You Already Know About Water Fountains

I love a good drinking fountain, and over the years I have lapped the cool water from many a fine fountain. Here is everything I know about them.

1. First of all, can we quit worrying about getting germs from water fountains? No one is actually putting their mouth on it.

2. This doesn’t happen in real life!

3. Let’s talk buttons vs knobs.

4. The knobs are annoying, but often yield a better water pressure

5. When there’s finger outlines on the buttons, you should attempt to line your fingers up with them, just for OCD reasons

6. I’m sorta sure that pressing both buttons on these makes the pressure stronger

7. Porcelain ones where you have to stick your head all the way in are often cooler, and your head is enveloped in a breezy icebox

8. Bad. Outdoor concrete ones always have bad pressure, warm water, are often broken, or have gum in them

9. Agh what a nightmare crew

10. These big boys typically have cold water, but are prone to dreaded “dribble” water pressure

11. Tall rectangle fountains are the best - the coldest water and with an optimal pressure

12. I still count to 5 in my head when drinking from a fountain

13. Warning: double fountains can be a splashy danger

Often, their water pressure is tied together, so if both are going at the same time, there’s lower pressure. If you start drinking while someone else is using the other fountain, and then that person leaves, your stream will regain full pressure, blasting up into your face.

14. “Bubblers” are terrible and get water all over your face and up your nose.

15. What really happens with a bubbler

16. Pretty sure this is how typhoid spread in the 1800s.

17. Ugh, look at this abominable water pressure - this poor pooch!

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