11 Coolest Bedtimes

In order of least cool to most cool.

11. Two O’Clock

You will wake up to the DVD menu screen playing.

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10. Ten O’Clock

What, you have a cold or something? Hungover from last night?

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9. Nine O’Clock

Only not very cool because you probably have some weird shift work disorder because you have to get up at like 4am.

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8. Eleven O’Clock

Decent. You got to watch all of Mad Men and then went right to bed.

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7. Eight O’Clock

Are you a fucking third grader?

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6. Nine Thirty

Seriously, this is just as bad.

This is you, you big baby.

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5. Oh heck yeah - Midnight

Woop woop it’s Thursday, gonna stay up late.

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4. Ten After Twelve

Yeah, decided to fuck around on Facebook a little more. Only 10 minutes, whatever.

3. Ten Thirty

A GREAT night’s sleep. Gonna wake up like a newborn baby, feeling fantastic.

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2. Three O’Clock, Damn

PARTY TIME

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You, being very cool. Probably smoking cigarettes.

1. Eleven Forty-Five. The Best Bedtime.

This is the perfect bedtime. Now get the hell out of my office.

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