11 Coolest Bedtimes

In order of least cool to most cool.

11. Two O’Clock

You will wake up to the DVD menu screen playing.

10. Ten O’Clock

What, you have a cold or something? Hungover from last night?

9. Nine O’Clock

Only not very cool because you probably have some weird shift work disorder because you have to get up at like 4am.

8. Eleven O’Clock

Decent. You got to watch all of Mad Men and then went right to bed.

7. Eight O’Clock

Are you a fucking third grader?

6. Nine Thirty

Seriously, this is just as bad.

5. Oh heck yeah - Midnight

Woop woop it’s Thursday, gonna stay up late.

4. Ten After Twelve

Yeah, decided to fuck around on Facebook a little more. Only 10 minutes, whatever.

3. Ten Thirty

A GREAT night’s sleep. Gonna wake up like a newborn baby, feeling fantastic.

2. Three O’Clock, Damn


You, being very cool. Probably smoking cigarettes.

1. Eleven Forty-Five. The Best Bedtime.

This is the perfect bedtime. Now get the hell out of my office.

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