Why You Just Can’t Quit Facebook

It knows you’ll be back. It always knows! posted on

1. These days you barely even care about Facebook. Honestly.

2. But still, there is that chunk of time every few days, or maybe everyday, when you find yourself there anyway.

3. You’re not even HAPPY about it. You just feel like you should check in.

4. And there it is. The familiar dull glow.

5. Let’s just scroll back through the news feed for a while. There could be something good back there.

6. YESSSSS, omg, your coworker posted puppy pictures.

7. And there’s a photo album from a high school reunion. You were DEFINITELY right about deciding not to go.

8. Hmm, what else is new? A surprising number of people report feeling truly blessed.

9. Your coupled friends are still tagging each other in their statuses.

10. …and posting pictures of the flowers they gave to/got from each other.

11. Isn’t it INteresting to see who writes happy birthday on each other’s walls (when they didn’t write it on YOURS)?

12. Your extended family is weighing in on recent political news.

13. THEY got ENGAGED?????

14. Is your ex … flirting with this person? Right in front of you?

16. You should NOT have gone that far back on your ex’s profile. This is NOT HELPING.

17. WHY DID ANYONE EVEN MAKE THIS WEBSITE?!!!!!

18. Honestly this display is just gross, and you’re over it.

19. (Has everyone around you seen all the faces you’ve been making?)

20. That is probably enough Facebook for the day.

21. Probably enough for the rest of your life. But 12 hours at least.

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