What It’s Like Starting A New Text Flirtation

You’ll want to alternately hug your phone and throw it at a wall.

1. You’ve got a new crush. It’s the best.

2. Progress has been sort of…slow.

3. But FINALLY you have each other’s numbers.

4. So you decide to send a little text message. Just to say hi.

5. And when your crush responds, it’s the single best 10 seconds of your life.

6. Your text back-and-forth consumes the next hour at least, no matter where you are and what you’re (supposed to be) doing.

7. But eventually you send a message that goes un-responded to.


8. You start to…freak out a little bit.

9. Who even IS this person, and why are you always getting crushes on the most terrible ones?

10. Does this person just want to be your FRIEND?

11. [20 minute rage blackout]

12. And then, HOURS later, a response: “lol.”

13. And you’re like…

14. You try to accept it. You’ve said “lol” at people you like before!! It’s no big deal. Nbd.

15. Eventually you decide you don’t care. Or you’re pretending you don’t.

16. But then…HOURS later, AGAIN, you get another text from this person??

17. It’s kind of a stupid message, to be honest.

18. But then it’s followed with, like, a smiley face or something. And you can’t help it. You’re reduced to this:

19. You’re back here again, somehow.

20. You know this is all going to happen again tomorrow.

21. Hopefully, soon, one of you will steer the conversation somewhere…productive.

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Editor, Ghost Hunter, Ufologist
Contact Katie Heaney at
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