What It’s Like Starting A New Text Flirtation

You’ll want to alternately hug your phone and throw it at a wall.

1. You’ve got a new crush. It’s the best.

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2. Progress has been sort of…slow.

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3. But FINALLY you have each other’s numbers.

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4. So you decide to send a little text message. Just to say hi.

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5. And when your crush responds, it’s the single best 10 seconds of your life.

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6. Your text back-and-forth consumes the next hour at least, no matter where you are and what you’re (supposed to be) doing.

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7. But eventually you send a message that goes un-responded to.


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8. You start to…freak out a little bit.

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9. Who even IS this person, and why are you always getting crushes on the most terrible ones?

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10. Does this person just want to be your FRIEND?

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11. [20 minute rage blackout]

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12. And then, HOURS later, a response: “lol.”

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13. And you’re like…

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14. You try to accept it. You’ve said “lol” at people you like before!! It’s no big deal. Nbd.

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15. Eventually you decide you don’t care. Or you’re pretending you don’t.

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16. But then…HOURS later, AGAIN, you get another text from this person??

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17. It’s kind of a stupid message, to be honest.

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18. But then it’s followed with, like, a smiley face or something. And you can’t help it. You’re reduced to this:

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19. You’re back here again, somehow.

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20. You know this is all going to happen again tomorrow.

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21. Hopefully, soon, one of you will steer the conversation somewhere…productive.

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Senior Editor, Ghost Hunter, Ufologist
Contact Katie Heaney at

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