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The 18 Worst Things About Being Single In New York City

1. Everything.

1. New Yorkers love walking around with headphones/hate talking to strangers, so good luck striking up a conversation with someone cute on the street.

2. Seeing someone cute on the subway and knowing you will never, ever see that person again.

Of course, if it’s your ex, s/he’ll be there on your train, in your car, every morning until you die.

3. Your friends are possibly even more cynical than you.

Which makes feeling enthusiastic harder than, say, drinking and complaining together.

4. You met someone you like who lives outside your borough? Have fun! Good luck with that!

You want me to take HOW many trains?

5. Welcome to the land of perpetual digital flirting and IRL flaking.

6. The late meal times means pre-date nerves last SO MUCH LONGER.

7. You might THINK you’ve met someone “new” and totally outside your social circle. You haven’t.

8. Everyone you meet, despite being super successful with a nicer apartment than yours, is somehow, like, 22 years old.

9. Humans, humans EVERYWHERE, and not a one to date.

10. With whom are you supposed to reach the Seamless minimum?

11. Straight ladies and gay guys: just go to … Coney Island, I guess.

This is just unfair math.

12. Drinking dates that bleed into (and then pass by) dinnertime mean sooo. Many. Hangovers.

13. Even if you DO find someone worth bringing home, you know who else is always home? Your roommate.

God, Harry.

14. OkCupid Fatigue.

“Maybe I should go back on?” turns so quickly into “GET ME OFF OF HERE.”

15. Everyone thinks s/he’s a food critic.

Guaranteed: within half an hour on every first date in New York City, one person has told the other that s/he’s “a bit of a foodie.”

16. Between drinks, cabs, and consolation street pizza afterward, each date is like a small fortune lost.

17. Nowhere else in the world will you see so many attractive couples making out on the sidewalk.

WE GET IT YOU’RE HAPPY

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Editor, Ghost Hunter, Ufologist
 
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