Say Good-Bye To The Worst Mercury Retrograde Ever

Yesterday was the last day of Mercury Retrograde in Pisces, FINALLY. It’s almost certain that at least one of these terrible things happened to you, and it’s all Mercury’s fault.

1. This was the worst Mercury in Retrograde EVER.

For the unfamiliar: Mercury in retrograde is what astrologers call the phenomenon in which the planet Mercury appears to be (though isn’t actually) moving “backwards” for approximately three weeks. This happens three or four times a year, and the consequences (especially this time) are TOTALLY REAL. In general, Mercury in retrograde can be a period of confusion and poor communication for many. Susan Miller, popular astrologist and creator of Astrology Zone, puts it this way:

“What happens when Mercury retrogrades? You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements—but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don’t fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.”

3. This most recent episode started on February 23 and ended yesterday, and boy, was it a doozy.

Here are just a few of the things that could have (and, let’s face it, did) go wrong while Mercury was in retrograde:

4. You had trouble with mail and shipping.

Win McNamee / Getty Images

Mail and shipping (controlled by Mercury) get messed up in periods of retrograde. The post office announced in early February plans to end Saturday mail delivery and Congress has battled the decision throughout the whole retrograde period.

Astrologists warn that Mercury retrograde is not a good time for travel: this retrograde saw a second cruise ship — the Carnival Dream — earn the “poop cruise” moniker. Maybe even worse, the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise was cruelly canceled before it could even disembark/explain itself.

(Thanks to Lindsey Weber for the disappointed photoshop.) / Via google.com

7. You lost something.

Valerie Macon / Getty Images

It could have been either material objects (as in the case of Julianne Hough’s jewels), or, as astrologer Larry Schwimmer points out, chances at the presidency.

8. You hopefully didn’t sign any contracts!

Patrick Semansky / AP

Don’t sign a contract of any kind while Mercury is in retrograde because you might not be getting the best offer you could. (Unless you are Joe Flacco, who signed a contract, and whose contract got him $120.6 million. The question is: if he had waited, could he have gotten $121 million?)

9. You had a breakdown in communication.

Talking while Mercury is in retrograde is HARD. (More symbolically, your favorite way to interact with other people might have even been taken away from you!)

10. You probably shouldn’t have started a new job.

Christopher Furlong / Getty Images

Starting a new job while Mercury is in retrograde isn’t a good idea either. But some jobs I guess you can’t leave sitting empty for TOO long.

11. Your electronics broke.

It could have been your car, TV, computer, hard drive, microwave, but SOMETHING broke. It’s Mercury’s fault.

12. You were visited by a long-lost person (or concept).

Another feature of Mercury in retrograde is the arrival of a long-lost … thing, in your life: “A lost idea or person can return, especially someone has a mysterious pull on the soul or psyche.” It was your ex, wasn’t it?

13. WE MADE IT (just barely)!

Thankfully, all that should be over, for now. The next Mercury retrograde will happen June 26 - July 20, in the Cancer sign, and it certainly sounds like it should be tamer: “Expect annoyances at home with baking, gardening, and household duties under domesticated Cancer. Complete repair projects that weren’t finished or done correctly.” Baking annoyances! The next Mercury retrograde sounds adorable. But I can see where it could take a turn for the worse in a hurry.

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