1.
Around the middle of May, you experience a sudden, abject dread.
2.
This forecast makes you want to cry.
3.
You hate all the accoutrements of summer: shorts and sandals, to start.
4.
Group trips to the beach, for another.
5.
Raucous beach parties.
6.
You also hate outdoor activities, and being active period.
7.
Your favorite place to be on a bright, sunny day is ... indoors.
8.
You regret every guilt-based trip to the park you make.
9.
You're convinced you have unusually active sweat glands.
10.
You'll stay inside all day to avoid the possibility of swamp ass.
11.
You can't fathom the desire to simply lie down in the sand on a sunny, hot day and ... stay there???
12.
You haven't bought a new swimsuit in three years because the only thing you want to do less than swimsuit shopping is having a colonoscopy.
13.
The thought of all the mosquitoes coming back makes you want to cry.
14.
You resent being made to think you should shave your legs.
15.
Living without an air conditioner is not an option for you.
16.
If you try to cool off and enjoy a nice popsicle, you're quickly reminded that it's not even worth it.
17.
Your hair rejects the weather by attempting to literally escape your head.
18.
Unlike everyone else, you book vacation plans to colder places in the summer.
19.
Still, you can't shake the sense that you're missing out on something.
20.
But then you get your first sunburn, and your mind is made up: summer is the worst.
21.
You have a countdown to October/November/December on your calendar.
