1. Getting to the restaurant/movies/concert before the rest of your friends.
I’ll just sit here on my phone, please don’t look at me.
2. Deciding whether you’re shaking hands or hugging (or both??).
Is it…ahhhh…what are we…ugh.
3. Making small talk with hairstylists.
There’s going to be so much uncomfortable silence after explaining the cut you want, isn’t there.
4. Having absolutely no idea if someone’s flirting with you or just being friendly.
Haha no, of COURSE I wasn’t leaning in for a kiss, you just had something on your face? That I wanted to help with? Bro?
5. Elevator rides.
It’s honestly bad if you DO know the person AND if you don’t.
6. The never-ending loop of asking each other “how are you” when greeting someone.
“Hey, how’s it going?” “I’m good, how are you?” “Good! How are…you.” “…Good?”
8. Riding the subway with an acquaintance.
Omg what if you run out of things to talk about.
9. Determining the appropriate amount of enthusiasm for dancing.
Maybe if I just…do what you’re doing.
10. Ordering coffee, especially if it’s busy or a new place.
Ahhhh so many options and impatient people behind you in line and what if you pronounce something weird?
11. Trying to decide what to do when you’re walking into someone else’s path.
I should have just leapt into the street.
12. When someone actually calls you instead of texting.
Whoa whoa whoa, you expect me to TALK? With my VOICE?
13. Knowing what to do with your arms when you walk.
I feel like they’re swinging too much?
14. Making eye contact with anyone, ever.
What if they think it meant something??
15. Accidentally liking a Facebook photo you should never have been looking at.
16. Realizing you’re walking near someone you know.
And trying to act like you don’t see them.
17. When you can’t hear what someone said, so you say “what?” and they repeat it, and you still can’t hear it.
“Haha” — you, despite still having no idea what they said.
18. Walking into a party and feeling immediately unsure what to do with yourself.