15 Charts That Prove Your Phone Is Changing How You Date

A survey commissioned by the dating websites ChristianMingle and JDate finds that our phones are making dating easier (kind of) and more stressful all at once. We’re all in this together.

1. Our phones are (apparently?) making our romantic relationships better.

Very, very few people believe that cellphones (for all the stress they might incur!) are making our romantic relationships worse. Almost everyone says they make them better, though about a third say they don’t change much at all.

2. Phones change the way we talk to dates.

This finding is kind of vague, but presumably refers at least partly to the agony of text and Gchat interpretation and analysis.

3. Text banter is good for a crush.

Younger people are sure about this — about 62% of respondents aged 21–34 agreed that cell phones make meeting and getting to know dates easier, while 54% of people aged 35–42 and only 42% of those aged 43–50 did.

4. However, texting a crush is very confusing.

Over half of respondents agreed that texting is making dating at least somewhat more ambiguous, and the 13–16% who disagreed are probably the source of the problem.

5. Men and women text for the same cute and silly reasons.

Which is refreshing, and a relief! Though also maybe not a relief, because knowing this makes it harder to make up reasons why they aren’t texting. (“Maybe she doesn’t check her phone at work? Or… at home?”)

6. Real first dates still matter (though not as much if you’re very young).

Almost half of respondents agreed that a real date is “old school,” and instead prefer to hang out in groups of friends early on.

7. Ask people out by phone call, not text. (Sometimes.)

It’s hard to even imagine being asked out over a phone call (right? Email, sure.), but nearly half of respondents (admittedly weighted heavily toward those over 35) disagreed with the idea that they’d ask someone out by text over phone call.

8. Forty percent of women have asked a friend or family member to call them during a date to check on them.

It’s surprising that they wouldn’t just text, but apparently nearly half of women prearrange a date-interrupting phone call to give them a potential escape route. Just 14% of men have done the same.

9. Fifty percent of people like a phone call after a good first date.

Again, this seems shocking! But even broken down by age, 38% of respondents aged 21–26 and 48% of those aged 27–34 said that they’d prefer a phone call to other forms of communication (including texting and… mailed letters) after a good first date.

10. And most people don’t care who makes the call.

There is, though, a substantial number of women (39%) who still think it should be the guy who speaks up first.

11. Text us back sooner, please. Like right now.

Forty-six percent of respondents overall have been annoyed by delayed text responses. This is one of the few areas where there’s a significant gender gap: 52% of women said they’d become upset with a significant other for taking too long to text back, where just 40% of men would admit to it. Of course, what isn’t addressed here is how long the people on the other end were taking to respond.

12. OMG stop texting us so much.

The 46% of people annoyed by too many texts are probably not the exact same 46% annoyed by you taking too long to text back, but maybe some are? It’s about WHO is doing the rapid-fire texting. The survey also showed that most people (71%) didn’t report getting annoyed by the number of text messages they received from a date until that number surpassed nine. Which is a lot.

13. Text your crush back within an hour, or else.

A quarter of respondents said an hour is the longest text response time they’d consider acceptable in someone they were dating. Another very generous quarter said one to three hours, and after that everyone’s patience really starts to run out.

14. Break up IRL, or maybe with a phone call.

A question like this lends itself to people giving themselves a bit too much credit (it’s one thing to INTEND to break up with a hypothetical date in person), but still, over half of all respondents said they’d break up even a casual relationship with a phone call or in-person meeting.

15. Eighteen percent of us are asking our cats and dogs who we should date.

This isn’t related to phone usage, but still. What’s going on here? I’m worried about this.

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