The 15 Stages Of A Breakup According To Sherlock

Because no-one describes dating better than a high-functioning sociopath. Contains spoilers from UK airing schedule.

1. 1. So, your relationship’s over.

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2. 2. You decide the best thing to do is lock yourself in your room for a few days and cry until dehydration sets in.

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3. 3. Over-dramatic similes start making sense and you feel like your heart’s been ripped out of your chest by that guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

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4. 4. The outside world suddenly seems just a bit overrated.

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5. 5. And hey, you have all the ice cream you could possibly want right here. Supermarkets do home delivery for a reason, right?!

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6. 6. Then you realise that you’re actually going to have to leave the house, go to work and see your friends. Yet, every conservation goes like this:

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7. 7. For a few weeks, you feel okay. Then one night you get home and decide that one quick look at their Facebook activity over the last few weeks is totally okay.

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8. 8. After an hour of analysing the comments on their new profile photo, you realise it’s really, REALLY time to move on.

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9. 9. So you dust off your running shoes and decide to get fit. There’s also that Thai cookery class you wanted to join and that new Leonardo Dicaprio film to look forward to.

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10. 10. You’re actually starting to feel good again!

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11. 11. After a few months, you start dating again… though you realise your flirting techiques may have got a little rusty.

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12. 12. One of your dates turns out to be pretty awesome, why were you ever worried about not finding someone else you click with?

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13. 13. Unfortunately, they’re actually an undercover assassin who shoots your best friend.

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14. 14. But it’s okay, you realize dating isn’t that important anyway! You’d forgotten how much fun your friends are to hang out with.

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15. 15. And most importantly, your ex seems little more than an early chapter in a book you’re turning the pages of everyday.

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