1. Why did I wait so long to do this?
2. Did every single human in my building make a pact to do laundry right now?
3. Who would even be doing laundry right now?
4. OK I am, so…
5. So that’s where that shirt went.
6. Hm, but what happens when it’s a white shirt with colored polka dots?
7. I should probably know this by now.
8. When your underwear is still wedged inside your pants, they’re still effectively cleaned, right?
9. Doesn’t matter, too lazy to separate them.
10. Dry clean only?
11. Nah, they’re just saying that.
12. But maybe it will melt/break/explode if I wash it…
13. Oh well. YOLO. (You Only Launder Once)
14. *Closes door* ugh what a satisfying noise
15. *Tries to close door but won’t close* damn do I really have to start another load with like 5 bras and a towel in it??
16. Using liquid: Hm I wonder how much detergent you’re actually supposed to use.
17. Using pods: But where does the plastic outside go?
18. What even is permanent press?
19. Ugh laundry should be FREE. I thought this was AMERICA.
20. So maybe I’ll stick around just to make sure that it works.
21. Wow that noise does not sound normal.
22. Whoa, look at it spin.
23. OK, why am I still standing here?
24. I could make my life easier and just set an alarm on my phone but nah I’ll just kind of guestimate when the time rolls around.
25. 31 minutes. Why aren’t wash cycles ever whole numbers?
*what feels like one second later*
26. Crap, I have to go put my stuff in the dryer.
27. *drops underwear on floor while transferring to dryer* wow what was the point of even washing that.
28. UGggHHH why don’t people ever clean out the lint catcher thing after they’re done
29. Hah nope, I don’t even do that.
30. 60 minutes? No problem. *Goes to do something else*
31. Why is everyone deciding to invite me places right now r u kiddin me, I can’t leave because I have to wait for my laundry.
32. But do I?
33. No one will take it…
34. But then that’s a dryer that someone could have used that I just deprived them of…
35. So many feelings. So much ethical quandaries.
36. I’ll be a trooper and wait it out. *Pats self on back. Watches House of Cards*
37. WHY IS THIS TAKING FOREVER, MY WASH WENT SO FAST.
38. *Taking clothes out of the dryer* OH MY, IT IS VERY HOT, OH MY.
40. MELTING MY FACE.
41. K, I just burned myself with the hot applique of my sweatshirt, what a needless injury.
42. K, and now I just burned myself on a hot zipper. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
43. *Crumples laundry into hamper* wow everything is probably going to wrinkle like that.
44. No way. Not in the time that it takes me to bring it to my room…I think…
45. Ugh I don’t remember my hamper being this heavy on the way down.
46. I should probably hang and fold everything…
47. Nah, I’ll just do it later.
48. But then all of my hard work will have been in vain.
51. NEVER AGAIN.
52. OK but technically I will have to do this again in like two weeks.
53. I’ll be better about it next time.
*Doesn’t do laundry for two months*
- Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore is dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. He got 133 votes in New Hampshire.
- MLB issued its first-ever lifetime ban for performance enhancing drugs to New York Mets' Jenrry Mejia.
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.