{"ABOUT":"About","ABOUT_PAGE_TITLE":"About BuzzFeed Community","ABOUT_US":"About Us","ADD_TEXT_IMAGE_BOTH":"Add text, image, or both","ADD_YOURS":"Add Yours!","ADD_YOUR_VIDEO":"Add Your Video","ADVERTISE_WITH_BUZZFEED":"Advertise with BuzzFeed","ADVERTISE_WITH_URL":"https:\/\/advertise.buzzfeed.com","ADVERTISEMENT":"Advertisement","AD_DISCLAIMER":"This is a personal, non-sponsored post by a member of BuzzFeed's ad content team.","AGAIN":"Again!","AGAIN_SPAIN":"","ALL_CONTENT_TYPES":"All content types","ALL_POSTS":"All Posts","ALREADY_REACT":"Oops! 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What Your Hair Bow Says About Your Love Life According To This 1944 Magazine

This is a real, someone-actually-had-to-think-this-was-true-and-make-this guide from a 1944 issue of Life magazine.

But before we dismiss this as antiquated thinking of a bygone era...

Maybe implementing this system in 2014 wouldn't be that bad of an idea...

A top bow for the ladies on the prowl.

Mingling Miley.

Making-eyes-at-you Miranda.

Or ??????

Conscious up-bowing.

A back bow for the LGBT community.

A vision of monogamy.

Jodie doing Jodie.

A right bow for the drunkly**** in love.

Or ?????

For the coy damsels who are *off the market*.

Emma and Andrew.

Kimye.

Kanye and Kanye.

And finally, the caged Gosling.

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For the coy damsels who are off the market.