So today you decided to go without a bra.
And therefore you've made what is simultaneously the best and worst decision of your life.
1. Initially, you question yourself.
2. You wonder if it's obvious.
3. But then you realize you don't really care because your personal comfort triumphs all else in this world.
4. You quickly become a spokesperson for the Free The Nips movement.
5. Air conditioning is a looming threat.
6. Your only defense against it is folding your arms in front of your chest.
7. Because HARD NIPS.
8. You fear permanent saggage.
9. Everyone in the world inexplicably feels the need to hug you.
10. "Are you not wearing a bra right now?"—people who you THOUGHT were your friends
STUPID FRIENDS, BLOWING MY COVER.
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!!!
11. The day you go sans support also happens to be your most physically active day of the year.
12. For instance: train breaks down, late for work, forced to RUN there.
13. Or you have to run from an oncoming Michael Cera.
14. And then you're sore and in pain from the supportless WHIPLASH.
15. You FUME over the fact that men will NEVER encounter the dilemma of wearing a bra or not.
16. You are FRUSTRATED because BRAS ARE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS.
17. BRAS DO NOT EXIST IN NATURE.
18. So now you OWN your decision because you are an independent-minded, defiant, strong, and beautiful woman.
19. You are FREE.
LiBRArated.
20. And that is a beautiful thing.
21. Until someone grazes your unprotected boob on the subway.
22. Or until there's a passing breeze.
23. Or until you're wearing a black shirt and someone takes a picture of you with the flash on.
24. Or until you lean over and realize that you've just exposed yourself to everyone in your line of vision.
25. Or until you get home and won't be able to experience the single greatest feeling in the world, which is taking OFF your bra after a long day of bra-wearing.
26. Oh well.
