It's summer!!!
Life is so great!!!
But not so fast.
1. Because the sun.
2. The heat.
3. The sweat.
FALSE.
4. Oh, so you want to wear a chiffon kimono jacket?
You mean a chiffon kimono odor-and-sweat sponge?
5. Oh, so you want to button your collared shirt all the way up?
Right, I hear neck sweat/not being able to breathe are all the rage rn.
6. A fancy cutout number?
Prepare for the weirdest tan or burn of your life.
7. Earlier in air-conditioned room: A long-sleeve shirt seems like a good idea.
Later when outside in the heat: Why do I have arms?
8. Pit stain Rorschachs.
9. Pants?
Not unless they're THESE.
10. Wearing all black?
More like wearing all regret.
11. Eyeliner is fun!!
Until it melts from the corner of your eyes.
12. Must use anything and everything at my disposal to blot my face.
13. Lipstick?
A vanishing act.
And finally, the most oppressive part of the summer heat:
14. The looming threat of butt sweat.
SWAMP BUTT.
*How will you leave your mark this summer?*
Climate <\3
