What It’s Like To Be In Unrequited Love

At least there’s food.

1. So, you have been pining for someone who doesn’t like you back…

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2. You’re 98% sure that they don’t feel the same way.

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3. But that doesn’t stop you from thinking about them all day.

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4. Or spending most of your time analyzing someone you don’t even talk to that much.

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5. Or thinking every song is about them.

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6. Some of your friends are supportive…

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7. But some are brutally honest.

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8. And they all make this face when you bring him/her up:

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9. Everybody refers to your feelings as “that thing”.

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10. But you still love them anyway.

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11. Even if you also hate them.

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12. So, you’re resigned to torture yourself.

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13. You can’t sleep.

Like, at all.

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14. You’re not hungry.

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15. Except when you are.

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16. And then that’s all you can think about.

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17. Yeah.

Food’s great.

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18. And everything seems fine again…

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19. Until they text you.

It’s radar, guys.

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20. You tell your friends that you’re pissed they contacted you.

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21. But in your head:

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22. Really, you’re okay with it.


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23. Until you don’t get a reply. For weeks.

“Maybe I’m just out of service? Did I pay the phone bill yet?”

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24. And you’re back here again:

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25. You’ve scanned their Facebook to try to figure out who they’re dating.

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26. You’ve cried in public just thinking about them. Once.

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27. Or twice.

“This was going to be our song.”

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28. You start questioning where you went wrong.

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29. And all of your major life decisions.

“I should have gone to Brown!”

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30. The meaning of Love.

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31. Maybe even the universe.

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32. Until you hit a wall.

This isn’t worth it. You’ve had enough.

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33. You take an inventory of everything you actually have.

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34. Great friends.

With exponentially more love to give you.

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35. A cool job.

Okay, maybe just a paying job.

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36. And this:

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37. You realize…

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38. You’re sooo over them.

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39. But that’s probably just because you have a new crush.

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