1. As soon the host parents go out, we bribe their kids with chocolate and late bedtimes.
2. We usually roll out of bed about five minutes before having to do the school run.
3. And after lunch, we nap until school pick-up time.
4. We spend the whole week counting down to the weekend, so we can hand the kids over and get smashed.
5. But that’s not to say it has to be a weekend for us to let our hair down.
6. As soon as our host families announce they're going away for a bit and need us to house-sit, we arrange a house party.
7. Sometimes we have more fun doing the kids' activities than the actual children do.
8. But we also have a secret hiding place to smoke, snack, or text while we're supposed to be working.
9. When the host parents ask us to pop to the shops while they watch the kids, we'll take at least 10 minutes longer than necessary.
10. Despite our job title, a lot of us aren't actually that fond of kids.
11. We're doing the job because we get to live in a really nice house in a banging city for a year.
12. There's nothing more annoying than people thinking an au pair is the same as a nanny.
13. If one of the host parents confides in us about something personal, we truly feel like we're one of the family.
14. But because of the kids, we're usually more aware of our host family's gossip than the parents realise.
15. Everyone thinks we spend our weekends soaking up the culture and practicing our new language with our foreign friends.
16. But when it comes to the end of our year abroad, we suddenly go nuts and try to tick everything off our bucket list before we leave.
17. There is never a more disappointing moment than when the host family announces they're going on a "health kick".
18. We either LOVE our host family's extended family...
19. ...or they don't really get us or our general presence.
20. When the old au pair comes to visit the family, we can't stomach how jealous we feel.
21. When our times come to an end and we have a "handover period" with the new au pair, things can get a bit weird.
22. But above all, we're immensely sad to leave.
