2. Labyrinth Nails
David Bowie couldn’t even pull off this shit.
3. Swiss Cheese Nails
The Holey Grail of crappy manicures.
4. Swiss Army Knife Nails
Your only friends are winos, and even they are sort of disappointed in you.
5. Compost Heap Nails
You are garbage and your fashion sense is garbage.
6. Baby Nails
Guaranteed to make zero people want to impregnate you.
7. Twilight Nails
Everyone at work is taking you super seriously right now.
8. Machine Gun Manicure
Because TSA doesn’t have enough to worry about.
9. Helvetica Nails
Destroying something beautiful in the name of vanity.
11. Dolla Bill Nails
Decreasing your net worth, one finger at a time.