1. You want to resolve an issue, but your partner refuses to participate.
2. An analysis of 74 studies found that couples that engage in a particular pattern of avoidance can ruin their relationship.
A demand/withdraw pattern happens when one person approaches the other wanting attention — or with a criticism — and is met with silence.
3. You might get pissed and feel like they’re being emotionally unavailable. On the other side, you might feel like you’re being nagged.
But if it’s so common, why is it necessarily a bad thing?
4. Couples that have fallen into the pattern have a hard time breaking it.
Basically both partners see the other person as the problem, suggests researcher Paul Schrodt.
5. And it’s a huge red flag of distress, mentally and physiologically.
Not only are you less happy in your relationship, you can have less intimacy and probably have worse communication — and that can manifest itself as anxiety and other effects, like erectile dysfunction.