1. You constantly get stared at and approached by women who wear the “Lose Weight Now, Ask Me How” badge.
2. Your relatives feel the need to comment on your weight every time you meet them.
3. They try to veil their insults by saying you look “healthy,” but there’s nothing more condescending.
4. Some people act as though your losing weight is the only solution to all of life’s problems.
5. People think “I’ll date you if you lose weight” is an appropriate way to hit on you.
Sorry, bro, that won’t be an option. Not now, not ever.
6. And others are like, “I don’t have a problem with your weight…”
Cool! I don’t have a problem with my weight either, we have so much in common! Now please eff off indefinitely.
7. Stores carry clothes that are either too small or too big for you, there’s never really your size.
“Madam iss mein M aur XXXL hai, sorry.”
8. Buuuut you own the best accessories because, one size!
9. You’ve lost the count on the number of times you’ve been told to try out Herbalife products.
10. You know 50,000 types of diets thanks to everyone and their grandmother (literally) making suggestions.
11. You automatically tune yourself out when someone starts a story with “I lost a lot of weight using…”
12. You weren’t allowed to eat bananas because apparently they make you put on weight.
*Accidentally drops banana peel directly in your path* OOPS.
13. Whenever there’s an upcoming shaadi or family function, your family subtly hints at you making it a weight-loss goal.
14. Never a day goes by when someone doesn’t say, “Shaadi kaise hogi teri?”
15. You’ve become a pro at sassy comebacks thanks to people who made fat jokes on you.
“I’ll lose my weight, but how will you grow your brain?”
16. But at the end of the day, your thumkas have more swag because of those full Indian hips.
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