Bear with me. No, this is not one of those “humble-brag” articles you see, where women complain about how their ginormous breasts don’t allow them to lean on counters or wear ruffles.
Let me begin by saying that I believe that all women are lovely in their own ways. For the purpose of this article, I’m going to give my definitions of “beautiful” and “ugly” as they function within this particular piece.
A beautiful woman: Knows herself and is comfortable in her own skin. She may have a few insecurities, but for the most part, she is confident with her looks and intellect. She accepts and likes herself, maybe even loves herself, and she has no problem passing on that positivity to the people around her.
An ugly woman: Is deeply insecure about herself, whether she feels that she is aesthetically pretty or not. These insecurities generally manifest through cruelty and cattiness toward other women. She likes to tear other people down in order to make herself feel better.
Okay, do you have the definitions? Awesome. Proceed.
5. It can be difficult to maintain friendships with women.
Pretty women. Successful women. Intelligent women. Confident women. What do these ladies have in common? They can all inadvertently spark jealousy and insecurities within the hearts of other women around them. The way you stand up straight when you enter a room, or rock your new dress may seem innocent to you, but sometimes this can cause other women to hate you. I’m not bandying words here, or being dramatic. These toxic types will legitimately hate you because you don’t hate yourself. It can be hard to find female friends who are comfortable enough with themselves to accept other women.
4. It can be difficult to maintain friendships with men.
On the flipside of this issue, it can be problematic for a beautiful woman to have guy friends. One of the biggest causes of this is that men often mistake the positive attention of women (especially lovely women) as flirting. Friendliness is often mistaken as an indicator of romantic interest, and this sort of misunderstanding can often ruin friendships. Don’t even get me started on the casually flung-around term “Friendzoned”. Oy. Don’t get worked up, fellas. We all friendzone our friends. Because…well, they’re our friends, ya know? You friend-zoned all your buddies, too. Think about it.
Another factor to this issue is that your guy pal’s significant other probably isn’t all gung-ho that their fella is hanging out with a beautiful lady, whether your relationship is platonic or not. And no one wants to get in stuck in the middle of that drama.
3. Being taken seriously is often a struggle.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head.” Is a condescending cliché that comes to mind here. We’ve all been privy to these sorts of remarks, haven’t we, ladies? It seems that the more feminine your appearance is, the harder it can be to be viewed as serious or intelligent.
2. You’re always going to be judged for your body type.
Big, small, or in-between, beautiful women are often subject to spiteful remarks about their appearance. If you’re thin, then you’ll hear all sorts of nonsense about how you have an eating disorder, or how curves would make you a “real-woman”. If you’re on the larger end of the spectrum, then you’re subject to statements like, “She’s got such a pretty face, if only she’d lose a pound or twenty…”
Your boobs are too small/big, you’re wearing too much/not enough makeup, you’re over-dressed and under-dressed and sure she’s pretty but she’s not like, pretty pretty, ya know?
A beautiful woman catches a ton of flack for her appearance, as vitriol is flung at her from all sides by jealous women. Enough already with the under-handed (and sometimes not-so-underhanded) verbal abuse.
1. People always seem to think that you’re a bitch.
We are primed from childhood to feel good about who we are. Barney the Dinosaur told us that we were special, and so did our mothers. Our grade school guidance counselors plied us with cheesy feel-good mantras like, “We are all wonderful and special in our own way.”, and “Be the best you you can be!”
Why does this culture instill these ideas of acceptance, but so many people, both male and female, despise a confident, beautiful woman?
“Just exactly who does she think she is?”
“Look at that bitch, just walking around like she owns the place…”
“Who died and made her queen of the world?”
Does this dialogue sound familiar? Why is a beautiful, self-assured woman seen as a threat to a fragile female ego?
People just can’t seem to stand a beautiful woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Beyoncé being the grand exception, of course. I’ve never heard anyone utter a single foul remark concerning Sasha Fierce, but I digress.
Why do so many women feel competitive with members of their own gender, or feel the need to destroy the self-esteem of a woman who is enjoying who she is?
We all love films like Mean Girls and Bridesmaids, but so few people seem to get the messages of these movies. Put the tired trope of woman vs. woman to rest, and just accept one another!
Love your friends.
Love your weird old cat lady down the street who said you have fat arms, and the cutthroat harpy who stole your boyfriend.
Love your big sis who everyone calls “The Pretty Sister”, and that girl in biology who even looks good in a cardigan and always knows the answers to the pop quizzes.
Love that girl in your Facebook feed who went to junior high with you, who oh-my-God how is she engaged already and there’s no way they can afford that ring on a teacher’s salary and seriously, her voice is so nasally and seriously? They’re honeymooning in Europe? Seriously?
I’m gonna end this list with a quote from the late, great Mr. Fred Rogers:
“Try your best to make goodness attractive. That’s one of the toughest assignments you’ll ever be given.”
It’s a hard world out here for pretty women.
Get out there and keep on being beautiful! Inside and outside!